What Happens At the Jock Table Anyway?

So, sometimes at college I wondered--okay, yes, to this very day, I wonder what actually went on at the jock table.  More importantly, do the jocks ever wonder what goes on at the nerd tables?  Or is it just we nerds looking across from our "lowly" positions hoping to attain the "higher" athletic position who wonder this?  I mean, once you're a jock you're the top of the world, right?

If any jock ever thinks that, remember that the tech guys are the ones who control the switch that can turn off your internet connection.

That is REAL power.

I mean, come on, I'm all the way across the dining hall, and I would sometimes briefly glance over and wonder, "What do they talk about over there anyway?  I mean, obviously it's something funny because I can occasionally hear the laughter way over here.  But is basketball really that funny?"

Then again, if the jocks ever looked over at the nerds, they probably wondered, "Is computer stuff that funny?"

And, yes, occasionally it is, but we talk about more than that, so I assume the jocks do too.  In fact, I'm pretty sure, just like any normal person at my college, they also got into discussions about theology and bemoaned the taste and smell of dining hall food.

Which really isn't THAT bad (Yes, I hung out with the kitchen workers, and they WOULD appreciate some love once in a while.)

But, honestly, if your computers were working, did you jocks ever know we nerds existed?

Not that it matters to me because I'm perfectly happy with my friends, but sometimes, I'd try to smile at you because you were someone I knew, but I don't think you saw me.  Maybe the girl hyped up on Dr. Pepper wearing a Minion T-shirt isn't your idea of who you want to socially interact with, but the least you could do was at least nod back.  I was happy to see you, and sometimes I just wanted to go up to you and tell you I thought you were awesome in your game last night, but if I can't even manage to catch your attention, you're never going to know.  You aren't my Facebook friend, but it was my status.  You'll never know that in my mind, you are cool.  I would never want your life (girls) or to be your girlfriend (guys), but sometimes I just wanted to say, "You're awesome," but I can't because I can feel the social barriers rising when you pass within three feet of me.

Maybe someone outside of this situation would say, "Just sit among the jocks; get to know them!"  Let me draw you a comic of what happens.

Now, granted, if a jock sits at a nerd table the same thing happens to him/her.  See WHY we don't intermingle?  We are, like, these polar opposite THINGS!  And supposedly opposites attract, but you very rarely see jock guy asking nerd girl out.  Maybe we'll last socially interacting for a couple meals, but it doesn't always last.

It works with magnets and personalities, but not with the social scale.

There are exceptions to this rule.  For example, I went to church with some people who were more at the jock end of things, and for those few hours each week, we got along great and awesome and impacted each others lives, but once we were back on campus, we didn't necessarily always chill and hang out together.  Still, they were the people of the jock crowd that I got to know a bit better, which provided me with proof that these people are actually normal humans.

But, still, I have to wonder what the jock table is like.  I sat there a few times, but most of the time it ended up like the example above:  I had no idea how to follow the conversation and ended up retreating one meal later back to the safety of the round tables in the nerd section.  My brain quickly deleted any information because it absorbed nothing but the awkwardness of the entire situation.

Awkward turle

But then there was one time.  One time that had me inwardly laughing the entire incident, but which I later found out the jocks did not like:  the day the nerds took over the jock table.

Now, you have to understand:  the long table (actually, three tables in a row) in the dining hall closest to the kitchen may as well have had a sign over them that read, "This table is for jocks!  Jocks sit here!  Jock Country Right HERE!"  Even on Saturdays when everyone else was thrown from their routine and sits everywhere because the round tables are shut down, the jocks would still congregate at their table, completely unaffected.  It is where they knew to find each other.

And then one Saturday...

One of my friends who was more on the music person-y nerd side of the social scale, set her plate down there.  The takeover wasn't even on purpose.  She simply chose a seat and sat down.  The rest of us joined her.  Before long, most of the table was filled with music people and drama people and nerds, and we were having a lovely time.  I was sitting towards the end of the table.  I think I had five empty seats to the left of me.  In the next half hour, two of those seats would be sat in.  Only two athlete-type girls dared to still sit at a table that had apparently been polluted by the presence of a couple nerds.  I salute their bravery.  Every other jock started wandering around looking for new seats even when there were only a few of us.  They could have easily sat next to five nerds and overpowered our numbers faster than the time it takes for the goalie to make it across the gridiron and spike a hole in one in basketball.

Don't worry.  I totally know what a tennis court looks like!

Poor confused jocks

But, no, that night, by pure accident, a social experiment was constructed:  what would happen if the jock's table was taken from them?  Normally, my group of friends is the one you will find sitting in little threes or fours scattered around the dining hall as we straggle in on Saturday evening, carefully fitting ourselves around the "regular people" and nerds we don't know as well.  That night, the nerds happened to take over the jock table, and the athletes and their friends were scattered around the dining hall in twos and threes.  I kid you not, it was hilarious to watch over and over again (and I'm sorry to those who didn't find it funny):  a jock would finish getting his food from the line and would look at "his table" and see it filled with people he barely knew.  He would then start scanning the dining hall, looking for a familiar face until he located one; then he could go and sit down.  But as they were going to sit down, almost all of them took one more look at their table, slowly filling up with these strange people discussing important things like Northern Lights trips and stage makeup.  I saw this repeated multiple times.  And for just one night, the jocks had to do what the nerds did every Saturday:  go find their friends among everyone else.

But what would happen if a jock came and sat among the nerd tables?  Just came and set his things down at one of the tables where we all sat before any of us got there?  We know the answer because it's happened.  I can't count the number of times I would look towards one of my regular tables only to see it overtaken by people I didn't normally eat with.  But my eyes would keep scanning, and there, normally not more than two round tables away, I would find my friends again, all eating together.  And I'd come and set my things down, and we'd still all be together.  They put out a napkin, saving a spot for me.  They looked out for me, knowing I'd have a bit trouble finding them.  They called my name if I walked past them.  And we always found each other, and there we would be again.  Tomorrow, we'd have our seats back probably.  We had no worries, no fears.  If we never got that table back, then now we have a new one.  What was more important?  The location or the people we were with?

Jocks, whatever you talk about at your tables, whyever you sit there, remember this:  if the nerds ever kick you out, whether by accident or purpose, it's just a table.  The nerds have spent time developing a system of finding each other and saving seats, and that's not a bad thing.  Maybe that's why one day we'll end up being your bosses, as the cliche goes.  Maybe it's because we had to be flexible, to bend to the whims of the "superior" group, to scramble and come up with the solutions.  The nerd way of life is more than GPAs and glasses and gigabytes and games.  Oh, jocks, as a sports fan, I do see your purpose on this planet, but remember your ability to kick a ball is no more important than my ability to calculate its area (4πr^2).  So next time you see an unfamiliar group at your table, take my advice:  don't inwardly whine about it.  See if you can find your friends, and if you can't, procure several seats and hail down your compatriots as you visibly locate them.  Hey, maybe the new table won't be such a bad place.  After all, the memories you make with your friends are more important than a silly old table anyway.

But, still, if you don't mind me asking...what DOES go on at the jock tables anyway?

Life at the Nerd Tables, Part 4: "Katrina Very, Very Confused!"

You know, before I move on with the actual people for today, I want to give a shout out to my breakfast table peeps who weren't exactly nerdy enough to make it.  Maybe it's because we were all still in a half asleep state or something.

Sorry if the guys ever thought anything more interesting than this was going on.

Anyway, you guys are awesome, and I love you a whole bunch, but for some reason, you just don't fall under my category of "nerdy."  At least not as nerdy as the people I've been talking about.  Or at least you aren't at 7:32 in the morning.

However, the next group I'm about to discuss have levels of nerdiness Katrina cannot in a million billion years begin to comprehend.  Like, if I was confused an average of once every two weeks with the techies, these people confused at least two or three times as often.  And I would still keep coming back to these people no matter how crazy or confusing they got.  I mean, they were my friends, despite their...weirdness.

Yep, I'm talking about...

THE MUSIC PEOPLE!

I know next to nothing about music.  Yes, I had some piano lessons back in the day.  And by "back in the day," I mean between the ages of about six and nine...and then we moved and life got busy, and I kind of forgot nearly everything.  I mean, something about "All Cows Eat Grass" and "Good Boys Do Fine Always" and the fact that there's a note called Middle C--that's all in there.  But for the life of me, I can't tell you whether cows are eating on the treble clef or the bass clef or even what black keys Middle C is next to.  And let's not even get started on me singing.  I thought of recording a clip to show you how bad it is, but...I 1) didn't want to torture you and 2) didn't need you telling me I'm not too terrible just to make me feel better.

So why was I even around these people?  I mean, I'm not musical.  They are.  What could we possibly have in common?

Because, allow me to break one GINORMOUS, HUGE, FALSE TO THE MAX stereotype about the music people:

MUSIC IS NOT THE ONLY THING IN THEIR LIVES!

Believe it or not, they are well-versed in a number of subjects, not limited to, but including:  technology, Rubik's Cubes, practical jokes, drama, hunting, crazy travel stories, football, movies, oh, and some of them are also wonderful at encouraging you beyond anything you would ever imagine.

"But they're this stupid little clique, and you've got to be in the right group to, you know, hang out with them."

Okay, I think I just said I'm not musical, like a few paragraphs ago.  I was never in choir or orchestra or music lessons or...anything like that.  And they still hung out with me.  Once you get over your little hurdle of who the music people will hang out with, you can have an absolutely awesome time.

I mean, really, these people have done some of the most hilarious things to each other while traveling, but I am SO not typing them up, because those are their stories to tell, but...seriously, these people are hilarious!  And they're wonderfully encouraging people to talk to.  And some of them are really, really smart about stuff.  And I like that.  That's probably my nerd side coming out.  But, seriously, these people are amazing in every way.  And you don't need to understand music to hang out with them!

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration.  No, not the parts about them being hilarious or smart.  The part about not needing to understand music.  Because, seriously, this multi-panel "Katrina Can't Draw" Comic will demonstrate exactly what could and does happen.

Okay, in the first panel, they are dramatically confessing their latest adventure, whether it involved squirt guns or Silly String or lemon bars or...what have you.  It's a wonderful time.  I mean, who doesn't love a good story in which one of their closest and dearest friends gets completely pranked.

Moving on to the second panel, though, they begin to discuss all the work they're putting into Christmas concert.  Or spring concert.  Or their junior or senior recitals.  And, you know, I like hearing about it, and it's kind of interesting, but at the same time, I hope that they're not getting me all hyped up and then I'm going to hear it and have all my expectations crushed...because that happened...several times.  They just had me all pumped up, and then...I didn't like it.  And I felt terrible about it!

And then comes the worst stage!  The stage in which they go on and on about musical terms like vibrato and fortissimo and euphoniums, and I'm like..."Huh?" because I really don't understand what they're saying.  Okay, maybe a little, but I can only handle one music term per every five sentences.  Otherwise, my brain explodes.

Four years of hanging with these people, and I still don't know which is the viola and which is the violin!

Fortunately, they'll eventually reach something Katrina kind of understands.  And by "kind of understands," I mean the fact that in high school for history class, I had to learn the names of a bunch of composers.  Unfortunately, all that stuck was their names.  I have no idea what music most of them wrote.  All I know is Handel wrote Messiah, Tchaikovsky  wrote The Nutcracker, and Beethoven is mentioned a lot in Peanuts!

This is a good summary of how music people defend their favorite musicians.

But, you know, even after I've been confused halfway to Gallifrey and back...I still come back for more.  Because I love them.  And because they love me.  And despite their eccentricities and their way of getting me completely lost, I will hang out with them and defend them as being "more than music people" to anyone who says otherwise.

Because they spent so much time knocking that into me that the message must be spread.  And also because if I ever believe that again, I'd probably have a Majesty Music hymnbook hurled at my head.

Life at the Nerd Tables, Part 3: "We've Picked the Flowers for Our Funerals"

Fact:  People involved with technology-related fields have very stressful lives.
Fact:  People involved with technology-related fields belong to at least one fandom, more than likely space related.
Fiction:  People involved with technology-related fields have absolutely no life outside of the computer.

Because if we had no lives outside of our computers, we wouldn't have had as many wonderful, hilarious spoken conversations every day at lunch and supper.  And trust me, we needed this humorous break from the everyday stress of life.  I mean, I wasn't one of the tech people at college, but I hung out with them, and they had so many stressful projects going on at any and every given moment, it's a wonder they didn't end up in the insane asylum or dead from the stress.

Although, if they did die in the line of technology duty, several of them did have the flowers for their funerals already picked out, and they would mention it every once in a while.

I guess I should mention that one of the reasons the techies often find themselves stressed out is because of the gigantic social overlap between techies and drama people.

The high case of overlap is likely due to the fact that without the techies, the drama people wouldn't be able to survive.  They wouldn't have lights or sounds for their plays.

Actually, everyone needs the techies.  It's just that the drama people seem to realize it the most.  Maybe the music people too.

By the way, I should clarify what a drama person and a techie are in these instances.

Drama Person:  Someone who is night unto constantly is involved with plays and dramatic productions, whether onstage or backstage
Techie:  People who are good with computers, more than likely have working with them as their work study program

"Which are you?"

Well, I was in one play as a freshman--one play.  I kept trying out for more, but I never made it in.  So I guess I'm not a drama person, really.
I can solve the majority of computer problems "on my own," and typically by the time I would take Baby or Mater or Herbie to a tech guy, he'd be like, "Yeah, something is seriously wrong."  Plus, people would ask me computer questions, but really...I'm not a techie.  I just know what do with my computer.

Yes, I use a PC.  Yes, I'm still unquestionably a nerd.  No, I don't think Apple is evil.  No, I'm not planning on getting a Mac.  No, I can't just fix the problem on your Mac.  Yes, okay, I can fix that problem, but not most of the others.

So I somehow ended up being neither yet really understanding both.

Okay, "understanding" is not the right word.

I did understand what it was like to have all that stress of having a play coming up and still needing to get all your homework done because I've been there.  I understood virtually every word that didst proceed from the mouth of the drama people.

The techies, however...that is a completely different story:

The above picture is actually highly accurate.  Except for the fact the guys should outnumber the girls by a LOT more than what I drew.  Like, seriously, the technology world is extremely full of guys.  Sometimes, my friend Hillary and I would be the only girls at a table full of guys.  If there was a third girl, more than likely it was Jeff's girlfriend, now wife, Kelli.

And by full, I mean, there's only supposed to be about eight chairs at each round table, but then stuff happens, and you're squished at a table with, like, twelve or fifteen people.

But, seriously, this group was one of my favorite groups to eat with.  I mean, yes, sometimes I felt very lost and confused among  these extremely smart tech-savvy guys, but you have to remember that fortunately, they usually were surrounded by drama people.

Me in costume

And drama people are also an extremely stressed-out but hilarious group of people.  I blame it mainly on the sleep deprivation and having to spend half their days pretending to be someone else.  Or more than someone else if they're both in a play and in a class that involves acting.  Like freshman year when in the play Pilgrim Dreams I had to play two citizens of Vanity Fair as well as my "main role" (actually, it was a bit part) as the Wife of Giant Despair (in which I stormed on stage, yelled at a voice over, immortalized the word "nincompoop," and left) and also in speech class recite part of a speech by Daniel Webster.  Why I decided to do a speech by one of America's greatest orators, I still do not know because he was impossible to live up to.

Also, my freshman speech teacher normally sat with us, which was probably fortunate because that probably attracted even more drama people.

Because seriously, if that table was all techies all the time, I probably would have gone crazy or something.  Because if it was just them, well...it kind of ended up like that comic above.

I guess you could say this group was almost the epitome of the term "nerd" or "geek" or whatever you prefer to use.  A lot of the things we would talk about were quite similar to what we talked about over in "Nerd General," but this table even to me just gave off a nerdy aura, whereas the other one just seemed more normal, which shows you how crazy my definition of "normal" is.  But, yeah, these people were just...what you think of.  And I was one of them, so I'm not ashamed to say it.

I guess the best way to summarize it is what Matt said one day at lunch:
"Where's Wyatt?" (Looks around) "Oh, he's over there with the jocks.  Why's Wyatt with the jocks?  That's like Katrina eating with the jocks!"

Although, you know, some day the jocks will realize how much they need the nerds.  And ZEN VE VILL TAKE OVER ZE WORLD!

Life At the Nerd Tables, Part 2: "If You Read the Books..."

"Gandalf is going to send Jack Sparrow on a dragon through the wardrobe to Tatooine in Warp 5 to kill the Cullen brothers with a Quidditch ball."

The above quote summarizes a little bit too well what went on with this particular group of nerds.  I'll refer to this group as "Nerd General"--a few drama people, a few music people, maybe one or two techies (but put more than two and that completely changes everything), and an overarching group of people who have far too much knowledge about a particular school subject/popular franchise.

For example, I know a lot about Pirates of the Caribbean.  I can tell you how old Captain Jack Sparrow was when he became captain of the Black Pearl.  I can tell you what he did as a teenager.  I can even tell you what he did in those two years before he was viciously mutinied upon.

Similarly, I had friends who had read so much Star Wars Extended Universe, you can't even theorize Star Wars VII's plot line in their presence because this will happen:

You were doing fine there until you said "daughter"

Anyway, the first line of this post is basically the end of the conversation that sparked my Mixed-Up Fantasy World Facebook Note Serial (click the link to read, but please don't read if you can't stand fantasy/crossovers/magic/fan fiction/people who hadn't read Harry Potter when they wrote it or if you like Twilight).  Incidentally, I should probably give ginormous credit for that work to my friend Cutler who inspired it, thought it was awesome, and said he saved it to his computer when he quit Facebook for a while.

Kind of like any five minute conversation when you eat with a bunch of people who are part of "Nerd General."

Yeah, that's oddly probably one of the things they should warn you before you eat with us.  You will lose the game.  Regularly.  I don't know, maybe this happens with jocks too.

"What is the game?" some ignorant to the phenomenon may ask.
It's a game everyone in the world is playing.  Some are just not aware yet. Your only goal is to not think of "the game."  As soon as you have thought of "the game," you have lost the game.  Now that you are aware, you are required to play.  Have a nice life!

Okay, the other thing is, there is probably an expert on some topic within your general facility.

Have a history question?
We got a few of those people.  And we'll give you a hundred extra details besides for free.
Have a Star Wars question?
Over there, those people are.  Wielding lightsabers, they are.


Want to know any details about what the Silmarillion is  and what is contained within its
pages?
The Lord of the Rings fans are over in that direction, huddled over their rings, muttering, "My precious." (Some of them aren't even at the nerd tables.)

Theology question?
Hello, this is a Bible college.  Let's all get together and thoroughly discuss this based on what each of us has learned under our sundry pastors and teachers and own private study.  No guarantee we'll end up with an answer, but we'll be more in awe of God than when we started.

And this could easily go on at any nerd table.

And if you haven't read/watched what we're about to discuss, prepare to be in a world of confusion.  I mean, at the table I discussed in Part 1, I was almost never confused, except when people cryptically talked about conversations that I hadn't been around.

Here, I get confused when the Star Wars people start discussing Extended Universe or, until I read Silmarillion, anything that didn't happen within the pages of The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings.  Seriously, you ask a Star Wars person a simple question like, "Who is the father of Anakin Skywalker?"  Next thing you know, you're treated to a ten minute dissertation about how midichlorians work and how they possibly could have gotten inside Shmi Skywalker, and just when you think they're about done--BAM!--Darth Bane somehow gets dragged into it because he is apparently, cool.

I know, like, nothing about this guy, but apparently, some people know a lot.

Or, for my own personal example, you ask a simple question, like, "When did Memorial Day start?"
"Memorial Day started with the Civil War when Southern women went to decorate the graves of their soldiers.  This eventually also caught on in the North.  It was originally known as Decoration Day, but over time, we came to call it Memorial Day."
"Why is it the last Monday of May?"
"Hold on; let me Google that...Some general declared it.  And actually Memorial Day is May 30.  The Monday thing is 'Memorial Day (Observed).'"

All that knowledge crammed in my head, and I still struggle finding my way to the closest restaurant that sells shawarma without typing the address into my GPS.

You have no idea how badly I want to be at that table.

So, basically, I mean, it's really hard to explain this group of people to anyone outside of us.  It's just kind of like a random conglomeration of people who all happen to be nerdy about something.  More than likely, we all were nerdy about different stuff, but the fact that society had for some reason classified us as nerds was enough for us to sit at the same table, pull up a chair (And another.  And another.  And another.), and eat a meal together, laughing hysterically and occasionally plunging deep into the depths of theology before rising back into laughter because someone said something totally hilarious that did relate/was supposed to relate to the conversation, but now we're laughing, and the topic has completely changed.

But, like I said, maybe the jocks are like that too.
I wouldn't know, though, because I've never really been one.
And I don't need to be to be cool.
Because being a nerd is way too much fun.  And, you know, considering we have the people that ultimately control the technology the jocks and the regular people use, we will one day rule the world!

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"  "The same thing we do every night, Pinky.  Try to take over the world through methods that can't be mentioned on the Internet lest Katrina fall under suspicion if any of them happen."

Life At the Nerd Tables, Part 1: "Why Does No One Ever Sit With Us?"

Okay, I'll admit, the question, "Why does no one ever sit with us?" was a completely rhetorical question.  And actually even the question itself was kind of a lie because people did occasionally come sit with us.  Granted, it was about the same three or four people who just didn't seem to want to/didn't have the same lunch time as us five days a week.  Besides, I knew what the answer was:

Because by my junior year of college when I asked this, I was already, basically, officially a part of the nerd group at my college--a loose affiliate of people mainly based around the techies, drama nerds, and music people, although a few of us had absolutely none of those talents and had just read a bunch of books and watched a lot of TV shows and movies.  I never ASKED to be part of the nerd group.  I didn't even notice I was part of it for a long time when it finally dawned on me that basically the only athletes I spoke with on a regular basis were the hockey players.  And even then, only about two of them.

So, at this point, when you realize this, you kind of start making fun of the jocks while simultaneously attending every single sporting event you could make it to.  After all, there often wasn't much else to do on campus besides going to the games.  Okay, yes, you could do homework, but if you do homework all the time, you're boring.

And nerds are NOT boring.

Anyway, it's not like the athletes could really hear you.  I mean, now with the dining hall completely remodeled and rearranged, I don't know how the social order has everyone sitting, but here is a basic diagram of what it looked like when I attended:

PLEASE NOTE:  THIS DIAGRAM IS A STEREOTYPE!  THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THIS!

Allow me to repeat that caption again:  The above diagram is NOT ALWAYS followed!  There have been music people sitting with the jocks, jocks sitting with the nerds, and so on.  Also for those of you offended by my term "jocks," get over it.  That's what we called you.  I'm not saying all athletes are terrible people.  For crying out loud, there were people on my college's sports teams regularly seated among the nerds.  I'm using "jocks" to refer to the people who were the type who acted, dressed, and talked "cool."  Although, nearly every nerd can tell you they're wrong.  Bow ties and fezzes are cool.

Obligatory random Doctor Who reference

Anyway, back to what I'm talking about.  As you can tell by the title, this is part one of four because, let's face it, no one wants to hear me go on forever in one post about how awesome each nerd group I associated with was.

Anyway, the first group I'm going to talk about is one that mainly consisted of about four or five of us, depending on which semester it was.  And occasionally a few others who somehow could manage to stand our weirdness every once in a while.  And there are good reasons why "no one" ever sat with us.

1. We had all once escaped from the mental hospital.  I remembered the least of it, and all I remember is something about an Asian pirate doctor wearing purple named Jack.  I think they wiped our brains before we left.  Like I said, I don't remember much.
2. You probably needed to be a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, or Stargate:  Atlantis to even begin to understand our conversations most days.
3. Pinning and sending each other Pieces of Flair LONG after it was deemed no longer cool to do so.

   

   AND NOW IT'S ALL GONE!

4. We would also talk extensively about books we read.  And how Cherie needed to learn to stop reading the last page first.  Once one of our absolute FAVORITEST teachers came and sat with us and we totally convinced him he needed to read Animal Farm because he had never done so and we were all like, "What?" and told he must read it!  These conversations are also how I knew the entire plot of The Hunger Games trilogy before I ever read it.
5. Our extremely well-thought-out and viable plan to escape college and be halfway to Canada before anyone even knew we were missing.
6. Retribution plan.  It always ends up with at least two of us dead.  Also involves escapes to Canada.  And maybe another country too.  I think it was France, but I'm not sure.
7. Sarah and I assigning superheroes to our college's various societies back in the good old days when my college had societies.

   

   Wolverine was forever claimed in the name of Judson society that day

8. Random outbursts of singing.
9. Janet and I had conversations that went like this:

   

   Please note:  The above is not an actual conversation.  Rather, it is a sample of how a conversation could go.

   Furthermore, lest you think we're the worst friends on planet earth, I'm totally listening to what she's saying, and she's totally listening to what I'm saying.  We just don't know how to respond, so we keep going with our own agendas, and when we get to the end, we have both communicated all we need too.
10. Something about Skype conversations that went on when Katrina wasn't around and therefore she was not privy to information about.  And you either.

So, there you are, the ten reasons on why almost no one really sat with us.  And I totally knew why no one sat with us.  But it was okay, because we were awesome, and we knew it.  Granted, awesome doesn't normally mean there's only a few of you, but awesomeness is relative.  And those of us who can withstand the weirded out looks of anyone within hearing distance and continue on with our lives knowing we're having fun and that we wouldn't trade our fun for a million popularity points will probably go on and do something awesome someday.

Edit:  Per my replies to the comment, here is a revised comic of what could also happen at lunch.

I never get anything I want...