The Problem With The Combined Fictional Worlds Map

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a problem with the above map.  PLEASE assure me of this!  I mean, it's "Camp Half-Blood," not "Half-Blood Camp," Narnia doesn' have any of it's surrounding lands, Oz and Alagaesia are completely left out, etc., etc., etc.

Now, I can't draw worth a single Mushroom Kingdom coin, but I can go on the Internet, save a bunch of maps to my computer and put them all on a page on my blog so you can click right here and look at a bunch of different maps I've gathered together to help me prove the points I'm about to make here.

I'm not saying that maps such as these should be completely abandoned.  I think they're awesome ideas, but putting these countries in such close proximity is when everything falls apart.  I haven't read all the books/watched all the films and shows for all the fictional lands, but I think I know enough about a few to give us a good idea on what is wrong:

1.  Some lands are outright stated to be imaginary.  Such lands are "Terabithia," and although not pictured here, Mr. Rogers' "Neighborhood of Make Believe," and "The Hundred Acre Wood."  These lands could never be placed on any such map because they are only of the mind.  Yes, some people are going to pull out the Harry Potter quotation on me about how just because something's in your head doesn't make it any less real.  Still, I can't feel right about having places that aren't real even in their fictional world being placed on a map.

2.  Some places are completely left out.  Obviously, this is because the person who created the map doesn't have these places among their fandoms.  Just because something isn't one of your fandoms doesn't mean it should be left out.  I mean, I'm not part of the Harry Potter fandom or the Game of Thrones fandoms, but I still included those maps on the linked page so those who are in those fandoms can be satisfied.  So, what fictional lands did this cartographer of fiction not include?  Oz, Alagaesia (the Inheritance Cycle), the Mushroom Kingdom (Mario), Far Far Away/Dulac (Shrek), Andalasia (Enchanted), and probably some more that are escaping my my memory.

3.  The surrounding countries of several kingdoms are not included and countries are shaped incorrectly.  The two I can right out tell you are inaccurate are Westeros (as little as I know about it) and Narnia.  I mean, where's Essos?  Where are Archenland, Calormen, and the islands Prince Caspian sailed to aboard the Dawn Treader?  These are significant places to these series, yet on this map, they've just been dropped like they don't matter.  Also, some countries are just shaped wrongly.  They're either too big or just plain malformed.

4.  Some of these places are in our world.  Camp Half-Blood and Hogwarts are both hidden places that can only be located by those who belong to the classes of individuals allowed to attend (demigods or wizards), and Panem is North America in the future.  Furthermore, this map chose to include the famous training locations of demigods and wizards but left out Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters--the training place for mutants.  Obviously, if we include that, then we have other places to worry about such as Stark Tower, Gotham City, Metropolis, etc., but we'll conquer that topic in a little bit.

5.  Narnia is on a flat world, while other countries are located on spherical worlds.  I think that says enough.  Narnia can in no way be part of the same world as anything that is on a globe.  Narnia is flat (The Voyage of the Dawn Treader).

As already stated, though, I believe maps like this are excellent ideas, but they need to be well thought out, not just patched together willy-nilly in a sort of "Ooh, I got a great idea, let's place all my fandoms in one gigantic map!" way.  How can this be repaired, though?

Simple.

A fictional world UNIVERSE map.

"Say what?"

Okay, I mean, let's just think of something, by desiring to place everything on one map, the cartographer has neglected the Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica, Babylon 5, Firefly, Doctor Who, etc. fandoms.  The fictional world is a galaxy to explore!  Oh, that leads to my first point of how to improve this.

1.  Multiple planets.  By saying "planets," I'm also including the fact that Narnia is apparently some flat-like-a-map object floating out there in space.  I don't understand how this works; I just have to accept the fact that C.S. Lewis is a kajillion times smarter than me, which is something I accept extremely readily, and I haven't even read Mere Christianity yet (It's on my to do list!).  Also, let's not forget the fact that Neverland is also in space, "second to the right and straight on 'til morning."  Then there's all the planets that are in the above-mentioned fandoms.  I mean, really, it's extraordinary, and I'd love to be the person who managed to chart out all these fictional galaxies.

2.  Include a straight out map of our world.  On it, mark Star Fleet Academy, Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter, 221B Baker Street, Cedric Diggory's house (where the rings to Narnia are buried), Hogwarts and the other wizarding schools, the rabbit hole to Wonderland, 17 Cherry Tree Lane, the locations of the Stargates on earth, Jurassic Park, Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Tortuga and the Isla de Muerta, all the cities and towns of the DC and Marvel universes, etc.  You have to remember that this is not our world exactly.  Trust me, we would have heard of some sort of crazy events going on, even if perception filters and the Mist kept us from seeing the truth.  Plus, let's not forget the fact that we'd definitely see newspaper articles about the stuff the Winchester brothers of Supernatural are up to.  So, this is an alternate earth in an alternate universe--just one of the multiple planets that will be drawn on the gigantic map above.  On this alternate earth, as will be noted on the map, North America eventually becomes Panem, home of The Hunger Games.  Based on the technology of Panem, it happened sometime after the last recorded events of Star Trek and Firefly.  In Serenity, the voiceover states that Earth-That-Was got too crowded, although I imagine enough people were left on it when Panem formed to still have such competitions.  This alternate world can also be justified by the existence of all the Presidents and Prime Ministers that never existed in our world.

3.  The Isle of Sodor is in another universe completely from the above universe.  Here's my theory, disturbing as it is:  In one universe, vehicles began to become sentient beings.At the time of the events of Thomas the Tank Engine, everything was fine and good, because they still needed the humans to control them.  However, as time progressed and the self-driving car was invented/evolved, the vehicles no longer needed the humans and took over the planet somehow, allowing for a world like Pixar's Cars where there are many vehicles, all talking and apparently reproducing, but no humans driving them.  There's your extremely disturbing thought of the day, and yet more evidence I have been watching Pixar far beyond the age I should be.

4.  Portals between this world and our world could exist.  This is, of course, assuming events like that of Narnia did indeed happen in our world.  The easiest way to get to this world is to find the yellow and green ring Digory Kirk's Uncle Andrew invented, and jump into the ponds in the world between worlds until we found our desired world.  Other methods are a bit harder.  Obviously, the average tornado is destructive, but in The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy happens to get picked up in one that has either a) also picked up a portal to another world (This one happening to be Oz.) or b) is a portal to another world.  The rabbit hole that Alice falls down is also another such portal, and is probably the exact same sort of portal that the characters in Enchanted use to get between Andalasia and Times Square, even though that particular one is a manhole.  Both, nonetheless, are portals to another world where things do not work exactly like here.

5.  An explanation of why some lands have talking animals and some don't.  First of all, Alternate Earth is extremely similar to ours.  It merely contains people and a few places that don't exist in our world.  These lands where animals can talk are quite like Narnia.  I imagine there's some sort of planet in this alternate universe where animals can talk.  I'd imagine that this particular planet is some sort of fairy tale planet.  Not all the princes and princesses we know are alive at once.  Rather, somehow our world got delivered the important stories of the histories of various royal kingdoms on this planet.  In some lands, the animals can talk, and in others they can't.  An alternate explanation could be that over time, the animals on Alternate Earth lost the ability to speak, just as Narnian animals can lose their ability to speak, however as the history of Alternate Earth includes characters such as King Arthur and Robin Hood who can't speak to animals, this explanation is highly unlikely.

Obviously, this blog post has all been in good fun, as I don't actually believe in alternate universes (Sorry!), and I know fiction is just fiction.  It's all just stories that we use to keep ourselves entertained.  But, you know what?  That's okay.  We all need that bit of fun in which we imagine what the world would be like if things weren't the way they are.  Some may condemn fantasy as wrong, but I enjoy it becuse I understand that it's all pretend; it's not real.  Still, imagine if this were real:  I think we would all immediately start running around trying to find portals to this alternate universe.

But would you really want to go?  It's dangerous.  Unless you've got the Doctor (Well, this universe's Doctor, which is the Doctor we watch on TV.) to jiggery-pokery your phone, you can't call home.  Your way back could get cut off.  You might have to live out the rest of your life without electricity or any of the comforts you've known.  Would you really want to possibly pay that price?  Maybe you would, but I think some worlds are better left in our imaginations where we can escape back to reality.  After all, reality should be where we live, and fiction should be where we visit because when we live our lives the other way around, that is when things become dangerous because we lose touch with what's real.

As a Christian, I've been called to live a life for God, not for my fandoms.  Although I believe that literature is wonderful and fun, II Corinthians 10:5 says that I am to be "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."  If I ever let the fictional world become more important than God--even C.S. Lewis's beautiful world of Narnia that alludes to Christianity--then my priorities are wrong, and I need to turn my focus back to Him.  This is true whether it is fantasy literature or shopping or Facebook or music or whatever.  And I am saying this knowing that I fail.  My mind wanders during prayer more often than I should, and instead of talking to God, I find myself thinking about my writing or what I want to happen in life or even checking Facebook and Pinterest.  My priorities can be seriously messed up sometimes.  So, if you're a Christian, before you start your next TV show marathon or pick up a novel, think about if you've spent any time with God yet today.  He is more important than whatever you are about to do.  I know this is not the topic I started with up top, but it came to my heart as I was wrapping up, and I felt that it was important to end with this:  that the Bible is better than any fantasy novel you will ever read and your relationship with God is more important than your favorite couple getting together.

Life At the Nerd Tables, Part 1: "Why Does No One Ever Sit With Us?"

Okay, I'll admit, the question, "Why does no one ever sit with us?" was a completely rhetorical question.  And actually even the question itself was kind of a lie because people did occasionally come sit with us.  Granted, it was about the same three or four people who just didn't seem to want to/didn't have the same lunch time as us five days a week.  Besides, I knew what the answer was:

Because by my junior year of college when I asked this, I was already, basically, officially a part of the nerd group at my college--a loose affiliate of people mainly based around the techies, drama nerds, and music people, although a few of us had absolutely none of those talents and had just read a bunch of books and watched a lot of TV shows and movies.  I never ASKED to be part of the nerd group.  I didn't even notice I was part of it for a long time when it finally dawned on me that basically the only athletes I spoke with on a regular basis were the hockey players.  And even then, only about two of them.

So, at this point, when you realize this, you kind of start making fun of the jocks while simultaneously attending every single sporting event you could make it to.  After all, there often wasn't much else to do on campus besides going to the games.  Okay, yes, you could do homework, but if you do homework all the time, you're boring.

And nerds are NOT boring.

Anyway, it's not like the athletes could really hear you.  I mean, now with the dining hall completely remodeled and rearranged, I don't know how the social order has everyone sitting, but here is a basic diagram of what it looked like when I attended:

PLEASE NOTE:  THIS DIAGRAM IS A STEREOTYPE!  THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THIS!

Allow me to repeat that caption again:  The above diagram is NOT ALWAYS followed!  There have been music people sitting with the jocks, jocks sitting with the nerds, and so on.  Also for those of you offended by my term "jocks," get over it.  That's what we called you.  I'm not saying all athletes are terrible people.  For crying out loud, there were people on my college's sports teams regularly seated among the nerds.  I'm using "jocks" to refer to the people who were the type who acted, dressed, and talked "cool."  Although, nearly every nerd can tell you they're wrong.  Bow ties and fezzes are cool.

Obligatory random Doctor Who reference

Anyway, back to what I'm talking about.  As you can tell by the title, this is part one of four because, let's face it, no one wants to hear me go on forever in one post about how awesome each nerd group I associated with was.

Anyway, the first group I'm going to talk about is one that mainly consisted of about four or five of us, depending on which semester it was.  And occasionally a few others who somehow could manage to stand our weirdness every once in a while.  And there are good reasons why "no one" ever sat with us.

1. We had all once escaped from the mental hospital.  I remembered the least of it, and all I remember is something about an Asian pirate doctor wearing purple named Jack.  I think they wiped our brains before we left.  Like I said, I don't remember much.
2. You probably needed to be a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, or Stargate:  Atlantis to even begin to understand our conversations most days.
3. Pinning and sending each other Pieces of Flair LONG after it was deemed no longer cool to do so.

   

   AND NOW IT'S ALL GONE!

4. We would also talk extensively about books we read.  And how Cherie needed to learn to stop reading the last page first.  Once one of our absolute FAVORITEST teachers came and sat with us and we totally convinced him he needed to read Animal Farm because he had never done so and we were all like, "What?" and told he must read it!  These conversations are also how I knew the entire plot of The Hunger Games trilogy before I ever read it.
5. Our extremely well-thought-out and viable plan to escape college and be halfway to Canada before anyone even knew we were missing.
6. Retribution plan.  It always ends up with at least two of us dead.  Also involves escapes to Canada.  And maybe another country too.  I think it was France, but I'm not sure.
7. Sarah and I assigning superheroes to our college's various societies back in the good old days when my college had societies.

   

   Wolverine was forever claimed in the name of Judson society that day

8. Random outbursts of singing.
9. Janet and I had conversations that went like this:

   

   Please note:  The above is not an actual conversation.  Rather, it is a sample of how a conversation could go.

   Furthermore, lest you think we're the worst friends on planet earth, I'm totally listening to what she's saying, and she's totally listening to what I'm saying.  We just don't know how to respond, so we keep going with our own agendas, and when we get to the end, we have both communicated all we need too.
10. Something about Skype conversations that went on when Katrina wasn't around and therefore she was not privy to information about.  And you either.

So, there you are, the ten reasons on why almost no one really sat with us.  And I totally knew why no one sat with us.  But it was okay, because we were awesome, and we knew it.  Granted, awesome doesn't normally mean there's only a few of you, but awesomeness is relative.  And those of us who can withstand the weirded out looks of anyone within hearing distance and continue on with our lives knowing we're having fun and that we wouldn't trade our fun for a million popularity points will probably go on and do something awesome someday.

Edit:  Per my replies to the comment, here is a revised comic of what could also happen at lunch.

I never get anything I want...

Books and Me

So, I've kind of had this problem for a really long time.  Only, I suppose it's not really a problem.  I mean, it really is a good thing.  They say too much of a good thing is a bad thing, but I fail to see how that applies in my case.

I love books.

Books, books, books.

Novels, classics, historical fiction, biographies, histories, fairy tales, picture books, even the occasional book about science--you name it, I read it.  I don't know how long this has been going on for, but since I turn twenty-three in July, probably it's been going on for nearly twenty-three years now?  I mean, I can't really remember a time when I wasn't asking my parents to "Read a book."  I'm one of those kids who grew up in a house surrounded by books.  I tried reading Charlotte's Web in kindergarten when my parents bought it for me, but I stopped because because it wasn't like the movie.  Fortunately, I tried it again the next year in first grade and succeeded.

I still did manage to get my first chapter book in during kindergarten though--Edwin and Emily.  I think it was only about three or four chapters long, but it was second grade level, and it did have black and white pictures, so I have definitely always counted it as my first chapter book.  I can't tell you the name of the first book I read--whether it was some book assigned to me from preschool or if I did it on my own at home, but I always remember that my first chapter book was Edwin and Emily.

Anyway, so, as I was saying, I don't have a book problem.  My wallet only escaped Barnes & Noble today within an inch of it's life but I don't have a book problem!  (Mom, if you're reading this, let's just say that this was my regular early summer trip to Barnes & Noble to determine what books I want for her birthday.  I'm currently work on narrowing it down, even though it's painful.)  I mean, I wasn't even aware until last year sometime that apparently "bookworm" is a negative term.  I always thought it was a good thing because reading is a good thing.  I mean, yes, I do like hanging out with people, but even with as much of a social butterfly as I can be, something wonderful can be found in just spending time reading.

Just look at that little guy!  Isn't he awesome?

Yes, you could possibly point out the fact that I have no shelf space in my apartment left for books.  That is also a false statement.  I will simply find some way to condense the items on my closet shelves in order to make room for more books.  You know, if I buy anymore before I move this summer.  There is always room in my life for more books.  If we lived in a time and place where there was the dowry system, my husband-to-be would be forced to accept my books as my dowry because my parents would never have a chance to save up for one because their daughter just kept NEEDING books and book shelves.

Maybe I should just move into Barnes & Noble.  They have all the shelf space I need.

Quite honestly, the most dangerous thing someone could ever do is give me an all-expense paid shopping spree to Barnes & Noble.

Yes, basically I'm one of those people who was born with a book list she will never finish.  I mean, why do I want more books for my birthday when I probably easily have several dozen in my apartment I haven't read yet?  Because I'm a bibliophiliac, a bookworm, a readaholic.  I'm always reading something.  No, wait, I'm always reading several books.






"Don't you get the plots all confused?"

How in the world could one get the plot lines of Les Miserables, Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, The Odyssey, and the Bible confused?

Your brain has just now attempted to combine all of those, hasn't it?  See what I mean?

The reason some might think plot lines would get confused is because they only read one genre of book.  I mean, if you're obsessed with vampires, I can see how you would get your plots confused.  Although, I really hope that you wouldn't imagine Bella in love with Dracula, because I've read about half of Dracula, and...he doesn't sparkle.  (No, I haven't read Twilight at all.  But I've heard enough.)  And, honestly, even back when basically almost all I read was historical fiction and Baby-Sitter's Club, I didn't get the plot lines confused.  I mean, yes, Anastasia Krupnik, Blubber, Lindsey, and The 7 1/2 Sins of Stacey Kendall did kind of all blend together once upon a time, but after I reread them, everything sorted itself back out all right.

"You reread books?"

Yes, because a terribly wonderful book deserves to be read over and over again.  And "terribly wonderful" doesn't always mean it won awards or that the author made a ton of money.  What makes a terribly wonderful book is how it touched your life.  I could read a Pulitzer novel and walk away completely unaffected--bored out of my mind even (This has happened.).  However, a book few people may have heard of can touch your life so deeply and personally that you and the book become friends for life.  You come back to that book like a child who comes back to its favorite toy no matter how many new ones the parents buy.  Maybe it looks old and raggedy and worn out, but you don't care because the words within are what matters most.  These are the words that made you laugh, that made you cry, that proved to you that you are not alone.

And that is why reading is so wonderful.