MASQUE

If you asked me, "What was the favorite play you attended all four years at Northland?" I'd stop and think, and then open my mouth to give an answer, and then I'd shake my head because, no, how can I say Twelfth Night was more amazing than Pride and Prejudice?  And, come on, who's to say The Matchmaker was any more epic than Much Ado About Nothing?  I mean, even the chick flick-style play Thy Morn Shall Rise had it's redeeming quality--namely, the people who played the two main characters got married in real life.

However, you ask me what the best thing that ever happened in my drama people-filled world in those four years, and I will answer you with one word:

MASQUE!

Masque is like finding out that the dining hall is serving both Cherry Yum Yum and that chocolate pudding-cakey stuff on the same night.  And it's taco night in the front.  With wing bar in the back.  And you got a fifteen point curve on that killer Systematic Theology III test over soteriology.  And you reached the "Free" hole on your Daily Grind card (Guam Bomb Frappe time!).  And you found out your project's due date is a week later than you thought.  If you take all the happiness of those events and combine them, you will come close to understanding how astounding MASQUE is.  Quite possibly the only things better are someone getting saved, the Rapture, Dr. Bennett's history classes, and getting engaged/married.  And putting Dr. Bennett's history classes above engaged/married is probably either a testament to how much of a history nerd I am or the fact that neither of those events have happened to me.

"So, what is MASQUE?  And why do you keep capitalizing it?"

Whistle=important

MASQUE, my dear reader, is only the best--no, awesomest (which my computer claims isn't a word, but I'm choosing to ignore that fact)--improv comedy group on the face of planet earth.  And I keep putting it in all caps because that's what they do, and who am I to argue with those people.  They'll probably just blow the whistle and deem it "inappropriate."

"So...what's improv comedy?"

Well, improv is short for "improvised" and comedy means you get to laugh.  Hysterically so.  I mean, if you go to MASQUE and don't laugh, you probably should go ask your parents if you're part Vulcan.  Because that is the only excuse I can think of for why someone would not enjoy this.

What?  Were you expecting a picture of Kirk in this post for some reason?

"So, what specifically is it that makes MASQUE amazing?"

I could type for two hours and still not sufficiently cover all I need to.  MASQUE is amazing because you have no idea what could happen.

Okay, for example, there's this one game that I can't remember what it's actually called because most of us just called it "Zub Zub" after the one word the actors were allowed to say.

Okay, so in this game, someone's committed a murder, and usually three people or so are asked to leave the room/building while the audience yells out suggestions for the LOCATION of the murder, the OCCUPATION of the murderer, and the WEAPON used.  Oh, and the only word you can use in the entire game is "ZUB!", although you do get to use all the actions you want and some sound effects.  So, we call in our first investigation person by yelling, "HELP HELP! THERE'S BEEN A HORRIBLE MURDER!" (If you don't have a good set of lungs, I suggest you invest in one before your first MASQUE.).  Our guy who actually knows stuff then first acts out the location until the guesser indicates he's understood.  They then move on to the occupation and finally the weapon before the guesser "kills" his predecessor and attempts to communicate what he has learned to the next person until everyone's had their turn.  Basically, it's Charades meets Telephone Meets Clue.

Confused?  Trust me, it makes sense when you watch it.  Actually, it doesn't.  Because the audience has more than likely suggest the location be a "ski lift" and the occupation be a "kangaroo tamer" and the weapon a "canoe paddle."

Actually, by simply saying "kangaroo tamer," any person who has attended MASQUE is now imagining how in the world that would be acted out.  I know I did when it popped into my head.  What's crazier is the fact that they'd actually be able to do it.  And actually communicate the concept of a "kangaroo tamer," which I think I invented.

So, yeah, if you can imagine utter craziness like the above mentioned game going on for a couple hours one or two evenings a semester, that is the awesomeness of MASQUE.  And I haven't even gotten started on the other games:  Substitution, Director, Shatner, Stop-Reverse, Hoo-Uh (I probably spelled that wrong) etc., etc., etc.

So, I guess I should get down to it and give my Top Five MASQUE Moments.  Now, sadly, I did not attend every single moment of every single MASQUE.  I had student teaching and work and spending time with visiting high schoolers that sadly occasionally took time away from MASQUE, so if I have left out your personal favorite, please type it in on the comments section below and submit it.  More than likely, my brain forgot something.

5.  The Time Schofie Had the Audience Simulate a Rainstorm using our hands and feet and some flashing lights.  That was just cool, and I wish we had a recording of it, especially since I had to close my eyes during the flashing lights so I wouldn't get a headache.  Still, being there, knowing I was helping make a cool sound was awesome.

4.  Smashing. Mailboxes. By. Nick. And. Bobby. During. A. Game. Of. Shatner. Which. Is. When. One. Person. Says. A. Word. And. Then. The. Next. Person. Says. The. Next. Word. And. If. You. Say. Two. Words. In. A. Row. You. Lose.  It. Is. Named. After. The. Way. William. Shatner. Talks. And. It. Basically. Ends. Up. Sounding. Like. The. Way. You. Are. Reading. This. Because. I. Took. All. The. Time. To. Put. A. Period. After. Each. Word. Which. Is. Very. Difficult. To. Remember. To. Do.  This. Game. Was. Particularly. Hilarious. Because. It. Was. So. Perfectly. Coordinated.

3.  AMERICA! during a game of Director, which is a game in which the actors do a scene, and then the Director stops them and has them do it again, but, instead of normally, they have to do it like they're ninjas or vacuum salesmen, or in the case above, rednecks.  I think they were originally acting out something to do with some sort of animal, like pigs or horses or something.  I really don't remember, but all I remember is that eventually, no matter what they were supposed to be doing, they just kept saying, "AMERICA!" after every sentence.  And I was dying laughing.

2.  Barney Kids in the BJU Fountain as performed by, I believe, Clayton and Joel, although if I got that wrong, feel free to correct me, and I'll change it.  This was another game of Director.  Josh let the audience choose the scene, and when someone yelled, "The BJU fountain!" it was an opportunity we couldn't let them miss.  So, they did it like normal BJU students, and then at one point, they were told to do it like they were Barney kids, which if you know these guys, they are the complete opposite of the kids on Barney.  And so, once again, I was dying laughing.

1.  "You put your left leg BACK!" by Nick and Riley in a game of Stop-Reverse.  Yep, I had to go classic for my top one.  Stop-Reverse is a game in which the actors act out a scene, but at random times, the director will blow his whistle and say "Stop.  Reverse!" or "Stop.  Forward!" (or was it "Stop.  Play!"?) and they'd have to act it all over again but backwards if he'd said "Reverse."  I think the situation they had to act out was "Drill Sergeant," and Nick was teaching Riley how to do push-ups, and the one line that Schofie made them do over and over was, "You put your left leg BACK!"  And there, on my very first night of MASQUE, I became convinced that this thing I was watching was the epitome of comedy, of humor, of everything acting-related I had ever seen in my life.

Basically, thanks guys, for the laughs.  You're awesome.

Life at the Nerd Tables, Part 3: "We've Picked the Flowers for Our Funerals"

Fact:  People involved with technology-related fields have very stressful lives.
Fact:  People involved with technology-related fields belong to at least one fandom, more than likely space related.
Fiction:  People involved with technology-related fields have absolutely no life outside of the computer.

Because if we had no lives outside of our computers, we wouldn't have had as many wonderful, hilarious spoken conversations every day at lunch and supper.  And trust me, we needed this humorous break from the everyday stress of life.  I mean, I wasn't one of the tech people at college, but I hung out with them, and they had so many stressful projects going on at any and every given moment, it's a wonder they didn't end up in the insane asylum or dead from the stress.

Although, if they did die in the line of technology duty, several of them did have the flowers for their funerals already picked out, and they would mention it every once in a while.

I guess I should mention that one of the reasons the techies often find themselves stressed out is because of the gigantic social overlap between techies and drama people.

The high case of overlap is likely due to the fact that without the techies, the drama people wouldn't be able to survive.  They wouldn't have lights or sounds for their plays.

Actually, everyone needs the techies.  It's just that the drama people seem to realize it the most.  Maybe the music people too.

By the way, I should clarify what a drama person and a techie are in these instances.

Drama Person:  Someone who is night unto constantly is involved with plays and dramatic productions, whether onstage or backstage
Techie:  People who are good with computers, more than likely have working with them as their work study program

"Which are you?"

Well, I was in one play as a freshman--one play.  I kept trying out for more, but I never made it in.  So I guess I'm not a drama person, really.
I can solve the majority of computer problems "on my own," and typically by the time I would take Baby or Mater or Herbie to a tech guy, he'd be like, "Yeah, something is seriously wrong."  Plus, people would ask me computer questions, but really...I'm not a techie.  I just know what do with my computer.

Yes, I use a PC.  Yes, I'm still unquestionably a nerd.  No, I don't think Apple is evil.  No, I'm not planning on getting a Mac.  No, I can't just fix the problem on your Mac.  Yes, okay, I can fix that problem, but not most of the others.

So I somehow ended up being neither yet really understanding both.

Okay, "understanding" is not the right word.

I did understand what it was like to have all that stress of having a play coming up and still needing to get all your homework done because I've been there.  I understood virtually every word that didst proceed from the mouth of the drama people.

The techies, however...that is a completely different story:

The above picture is actually highly accurate.  Except for the fact the guys should outnumber the girls by a LOT more than what I drew.  Like, seriously, the technology world is extremely full of guys.  Sometimes, my friend Hillary and I would be the only girls at a table full of guys.  If there was a third girl, more than likely it was Jeff's girlfriend, now wife, Kelli.

And by full, I mean, there's only supposed to be about eight chairs at each round table, but then stuff happens, and you're squished at a table with, like, twelve or fifteen people.

But, seriously, this group was one of my favorite groups to eat with.  I mean, yes, sometimes I felt very lost and confused among  these extremely smart tech-savvy guys, but you have to remember that fortunately, they usually were surrounded by drama people.

Me in costume

And drama people are also an extremely stressed-out but hilarious group of people.  I blame it mainly on the sleep deprivation and having to spend half their days pretending to be someone else.  Or more than someone else if they're both in a play and in a class that involves acting.  Like freshman year when in the play Pilgrim Dreams I had to play two citizens of Vanity Fair as well as my "main role" (actually, it was a bit part) as the Wife of Giant Despair (in which I stormed on stage, yelled at a voice over, immortalized the word "nincompoop," and left) and also in speech class recite part of a speech by Daniel Webster.  Why I decided to do a speech by one of America's greatest orators, I still do not know because he was impossible to live up to.

Also, my freshman speech teacher normally sat with us, which was probably fortunate because that probably attracted even more drama people.

Because seriously, if that table was all techies all the time, I probably would have gone crazy or something.  Because if it was just them, well...it kind of ended up like that comic above.

I guess you could say this group was almost the epitome of the term "nerd" or "geek" or whatever you prefer to use.  A lot of the things we would talk about were quite similar to what we talked about over in "Nerd General," but this table even to me just gave off a nerdy aura, whereas the other one just seemed more normal, which shows you how crazy my definition of "normal" is.  But, yeah, these people were just...what you think of.  And I was one of them, so I'm not ashamed to say it.

I guess the best way to summarize it is what Matt said one day at lunch:
"Where's Wyatt?" (Looks around) "Oh, he's over there with the jocks.  Why's Wyatt with the jocks?  That's like Katrina eating with the jocks!"

Although, you know, some day the jocks will realize how much they need the nerds.  And ZEN VE VILL TAKE OVER ZE WORLD!