I Am Not a Hurricane

So, it's been, like, over eight years since I got tired of the routine, but I'll repeat it for you here:
"What's your name?"
"Katrina."
"Oh, like the hurricane!" *include corny laughter if you're a male who tends to make these comments

Oh, yeah, because you know, I was only born fifteen years, one month, and twenty-two days before that thing hit New Orleans--that's CLEARLY the only thing my name refers to.

You know, once upon a time I wanted to visit New Orleans...now, I really, really couldn't care less all because of a naming system.

I LOVE the times when someone actually says, "Oh, I know someone by that name," because it reminds me that there are other people named Katrina out there.  Other girls named Katrina with the same spelling as me.  I mean, it's not the most common name out there, and it's only been declining over the past eight years because people can't get over a storm with the same name.  I mean, some names like Andrew don't even ever take a hit, and then you get one hurricane that destroys a town, and next thing you know your name is falling out of the popularity.  I mean, even the name Miley hasn't fallen as fast as I wish it would.  (Although, I'm expecting it to take a brutal hit in the popularity ranks after recent events.)

I mean, just once, just once, though, could I go three months without meeting someone who refers to the hurricane.  It has been eight years, people.  I mean...

"Okay...that was weird..."

What?  What weirdness do you speak of?

Oh, yeah, the name ranking rant.  By the way, I'm a name nerd.  It was the second nerd type I ever admitted to being out loud, although I technically originally referred to myself as a "Pirates of the Caribbean dork," but I think that's just because I didn't want to call myself a nerd at the time.  I definitely was a name nerd before a PotC nerd anyway.

Speaking of which, yes, Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day to those who are reading this on September 19.

Back to the subject of my name, however.  I mean, I like it, I'm very attached to it, I'm not going to change it, but...I could do without hurricane references.

I'm completely fine with me telling you your cousin/niece/granddaughter is named Katrina, though.

But just once could I get a more nerdy reference?  I mean, not even my friends who love the Inheritance Cycle even bothered to tell me my name was in the series.  I had to find this out for myself!  I probably would have read them six months earlier if I'd known my name was in them!  I mean, thanks for the surprise, but I would have loved if you'd told me you'd seen my name in the book.  Authors don't normally choose it for characters.

*random critcism; "lalala, I can't HEAR you!"

I mean, the irony of the fact authors don't really use it is the fact that I am indeed named after a literary character.  When I tell people who it is, I get various reactions from, "What story?" to "That's creepy" to "Johnny Depp is weird."  I agree with only the middle statement.

WARNING:  Impending Talk Like a Pirate Day festivities may cause Katrina to reference her favorite show continuously.

Also, I have no understanding of this "weird" of which you speak.  Absolutely none at all.

Okay, so, yes, I was named after Katrina Van Tassel from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  No, not the Johnny Depp one.  That was made nine years after I was born.  If I was named after the Johnny Depp film that came out the year I was born, I wouldn't have been named until five months after I was born when Edward Scissorhands came out.  So, no, my name has nothing to do with Johnny Depp--it's just a happy coincidence I would up with.

Because, you know, every adaptation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow you see is based on a short story written by Washington Irving in 1820, and there are characters named Katrina Van Tassel and Ichabod Crane and Bram Bones in it, and there is a Headless Horseman, but the closest thing you're going to find to the original without actually reading it is to watch the Disney adaptation.

Warning:  Not suitable for small children.  Unless you have a couch to hide behind.  Because that couch is the only protection you have against an image on the screen.  The couch is just as effective as the covered bridge.

So, yeah, basically I grew up, repeatedly scaring the pants off myself watching Disney's adaptation all because my name is Katrina, and I was named after the character.  I'd say that's a fair exchange, though.  I mean, in the whole scheme of things, I get a name with literary merit.  And I guess it's a bit of a blessing that not everyone immediately knows where it comes from.  I guess that's why I can still enjoy a name from a book even twenty-three years after the fact.

So, thanks, Dad, you did a great job naming me.  And Mom too on picking the middle name Paige out of the baby name book in the middle of the night.

But, really, people.  I am not named after a hurricane!

Now I'm off to go braid my hair so it's all wavy tomorrow and so I get to spend a few precious moments of Talk Like a Pirate Day with Captain Jack Sparrow hair.

The Top 10 Live Action Disney Films (Now 11)

So, a couple years ago, which is probably closer to being three years ago at the present time (Man, time flies even when you're doing nothing!), my friends and I were riding back from church one night, and someone asked what our top five Disney films in both the real life and the animated conversations.  Anyway, apparently when you make these lists, Katrina isn't allowed to count the sequels to her favorite film as separate films but rather must group them as one film.  However, Thomas is totally allowed to declare Where the Red Fern Grows as a Disney film, despite the fact that it's actually made by a tiny insignificant company, and...Yeah, he doesn't care, so why am I even bothering to rant about this?

Sorry, dude, this is not a Disney film!

Anyway, Top 5 is such a challenge, so I'm going to make my list here a Top 10 so I can talk about more excellent Disney films.

10.  Eight Below--Basically, it's a movie about a dog team of eight dogs who are left behind in Antarctica when their humans have to evacuate due to severe weather.  So, basically, it's about the dogs surviving and the humans trying to raise money to go back and rescue them.  (Spoiler/Warning:  Some of the dogs do die!).  It's just a really cute movie about dogs and stuff.  Plus, I've seen the statue dedicated to the real dogs this happened to (Only they were fifteen of them in real life, and the people who left them behind were Japanese.), so that makes it even cooler.

9.  Treasure Island--Okay, if you know me, you're not surprised that pirate films have made this list--more than once.  Also, if you know me, I'm not really a huge fan of Robert Louis Stevenson's novels.  I mean, the man has incredible plot lines, but his writing style makes me want to stab myself with something.  Seriously, I have tried three times (Treasure Island, The Black Arrow, and Kidnapped), and each time it's been like, "Awesome plot; terrible writing style!"  A thousand English majors are now on their way to set me straight, probably.  Well, I suppose we can have a lovely discussion on Victor Hugo's Les Miserables when they get here, as I'm reading through that.  Better get the tea and scones ready...Oh yeah, back to Disney's Treasure Island film.  Yes, wonderful film involving pirates and stuff.  Basically, this film makes the list solely based on the virtue of having pirates on it.  Well, that and another film I wanted has too much computer animation to count as a live action film.  Also, this film gains bonus points because it was Disney's first full length live action film.

8.  Old Yeller--Confessions of Katrina:  I still haven't cried watching this film.  Still, I mean, it's got the awesome dog and all the animals, and basically this movie is really cool.  Plus, it's a classic.  I mean, like, three or four generations of Disney fans have loved this film by now, even if it doesn't make us cry.  After all, who doesn't like a film about kids who want dogs?  Okay, probably if you have cynophobia you don't, but that relates more to my opinion on weird fears people apparently actually can be diagnosed for, and not to Old Yeller.  Well, hydrophobia relates to the film, but not cynophobia.

7.   Davy Crockett films--I kind of hesitated including this because both Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier and Davy Crockett and the River Pirates were both actually movies chopped up into three and two parts respectively and shown several weeks apart on ABC's Disneyland series.  Nonetheless, nowadays, we view them as two separate films (unless you had the DVD edition my brothers and I did as a teenager which split them into their separate parts and included the parts of Walt Disney talking before and after them), not five parts of a miniseries.  I guess if Pride and Prejudice (1995) as a film, then Davy Crockett counts too.  Anyway, after that long intro, this one also makes it because it's epically cool; it's a fictionalized account of the historical character Davy Crockett; and because it inspired a fashion statement of coonskin caps in children.  Seriously, if you didn't grow up in a world where at least one kid you knew had a coonskin cap, even in the '90s, I'm seriously doubting how cultured you were as a kid because my family lived in Japan, and we kids had a coonskin cap.

6. Swiss Family Robinson--Watching this movie was my own personal reward for finishing the book (The first ever e-book I completed, on my Palm Pilot back in the day.), and, honestly, it is a pretty cool film that fortunately Disney has cancelled the remake of.  Seriously, some remakes just don't need to happen.  Some would say all remakes should be banned, but I cover up my ears like Gollum and mutter, "Not listening! Not listening!" while simultaneously clutching my copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory like it's some precious object that others think is out to destroy the world.  Actually, Gollum himself is a perfect example of why certain remakes need to happen.  Just go look up the original animated Lord of the Rings stuff.  Yeah, now stop dissing Hollywood for doing remakes.  Ahem, anyway, although Swiss Family Robinson does significantly deviate from the book, Disney nonetheless made it into a pretty stinking awesome movie that deserves to be watched over and over.

5.  The Princess Diaries films--Okay, let's see:  To summarize, in her younger days Catwoman, granddaughter of Mary Poppins, was bullied in high school by Rapunzel and eventually dates Captain Kirk.  Oh yeah, and she finds out she's secretly been a princess her whole life, which elicits the appropriate response of, "Shut up!" (which either means she was in shock or that because this is Disney, suddenly all the animals within a fifty foot radius began to speak to her, and she wanted them to stop talking right then and there). Along the way, she gets to paint by popping balloons, mattress surf, find out she can't actually marry Prince William, ends up looking like a moose temporarily, and gets a couple foot-popping kisses.  If you watch these movies (and watch both because Disney actually made a sequel as good as the first film!) and don't laugh at least once, something is wrong with you.  Seriously, these films are absolutely hilarious and quotable.

4.  The Chronicles of Narnia films--Ooh, look, MORE evidence that remakes should happen.  Honestly, go back and watch the original BBC stuff, and just agree with me that Disney did a good job of remaking it.  Now if they would just FINISH the project before Peter starts going gray, that would be cool.  Plus, the epic Liam Neeson voices Aslan.  Really, Disney, finish what you've started.  I'm waiting.  Plus, your soundtracks are awesome!  I mean, you do lose a couple points for the whole Susan-Caspian romance thing (Need I remind you she's hundreds of years older than him?) and adding plot elements to Voyage of the Dawn Treader, but oh well.  Further awesomeness was rewarded, though, because the films are based on books by C.S. Lewis, who is pretty much cooler than almost any other Christian fiction writer in the history of Christian fiction, except for John Bunyan (although Pilgrim's Progress, being an allegory, I'm not quite sure how to categorize).  Also, although these film contains certain amounts of computer animation to them, I feel they basically function as live action films with computer animation added where needed (Unlike Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, which was sadly cut from this list due to too much computer animation. *sniff sniff *tries not to cry; cries a lot)

3.  101 Dalmatians--Oops, yeah, sorry, we've got two remakes in a row here.  Wait, I'm not sorry.  At all.  This is the remake, which, although it deviates even further from the books than Disney's original animated version, that proves that some remakes can happen.  I intend absolutely no dis to the original animated version at all.  It's just that, since I was little, if you gave me a choice between the animated and live action versions, I was totally choosing live action.  The live action version is ten times funnier.  Like, seriously, if you haven't seen it, go out and find it and watch it.  There is a sequel known as 102 Dalmatians, but that's not really necessary to life.  I mean, it's cute to watch once or twice, but it's just not as good (like most Disney sequels).

2.  National Treasure films--And the history nerd side of Katrina strikes and glows like the bombs bursting in air at Fort McHenry the night the first verse of "The Star-Spangled Banner" was penned.  Yeah, no one who knows my history side should be surprised to see that this film is my #2.  I mean, just the cleverness of how it was all pieced together (with a couple slight historical improbabilities in the first one and a bunch in the second one) connecting all the clues.  It makes history into a scavenger hunt.  Plus, come on, Sean Bean doesn't die!  He gets arrested, but he doesn't die!  That's got to count for something!  Anyway, my recommendation for this film is that if you are not a history person, do not watch this film for the first time with a history person in the room.  Make sure no one in the room is a history person first and then hit play.  Because we will correct the film's mistakes verbally without the help of IMDb.  And even despite that, we'll still be all, "This is so awesome!" at the end.

1.  Pirates of the Caribbean quadrilogy (to become a pentalogy in 2015)--Okay, you all knew this was coming, so don't act surprised.  PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN IS THE BEST MOVIE SERIES EVER!  It's my ringtone; it's the origin of my love of Johnny Depp (Incidentally, the only reason The Lone Ranger is not on this list is because I haven't seen it yet, and if you spoil it, you are in so much trouble.); it's the reason I love movies and documentaries about pirates.  PIRATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No, my obsession with this film is not logical in the least.  In fact, one could contend it is highly illogical because no human being should be getting this excited about movies that she knows aren't as good as the original.  However, I would like to point out that it is the highest grossing Disney movie franchise*, so it's not like my love is completely misplaced.  So, yeah, there's never another like good ol' Captain Jack, savvy?  Plus, come on, the first time I ever cried from a movie was when Jack got eaten by the kraken in Dead Man's Chest.  And then about five minutes later I was screaming because of the surprise twist and how I couldn't wait a year for the next film.  And then I had to wait four years after that film for On Stranger Tides to come out.  Seriously, I should be handling the Sherlock thing much better after how long I waited for a fourth pirates film and how long I'm waiting for a fifth (Yes, it's happening!).  I mean, between three and four coming out, at least I occupied by time by reading the books, but Disney isn't publishing as many Pirates books anymore, so that's out.  So, yeah, if you can't tell by the end of this paragraph what Katrina's absolute favorite live action Disney film (actually film series because Thomas wouldn't let me make it my top four spaces!) is, you really don't know me.  Because all you have to say is "Pirates" or "Jack Sparrow" or "Black Pearl," and I turn into this hyperactive crazy thing for between several minutes and a couple hours.  Yeah, you can tell me that I have issues...but "sticks and stones, love."  Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

"I can go like this" is the perfect response for if anyone asks me if I can do anything else but wait for Pirates 5 to come out

*not counting Marvel or Star Wars, both of which Disney owns now, as I see those as completely different things, especially since Disney hasn't actually made any Star Wars films yet and that anything Disney's doing with Marvel is a continuation of what was going on when they bought it

Oh, and finally, to end with:

HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY TO PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN!  Thank you to Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Johnny Depp, and the rest of the cast and crew for an amazing adventure.  Seriously, without all the effort and madness you put into this film, our lives would be much sadder.  So, thank you, for everything you have done, even though you will probably never read this

AND, TO ALL THE HATERS:

ETA:  So, I feel like an idiot because I just realized I didn't rank Holes, which is sitting right in the same room as me and which is most definitely one of my absolute favorite Disney films, ranking at #3, which then reranks everything else and knocks Eight Below off the list.  I have no idea why I forgot it, but, yeah, I love Holes, both book and movie.  I feel the movie did a FABULOUS job at portraying the book.  It's got awesome multiple plot lines that end up intertwining at the end.  So, yeah, I guess this list is now 11 movies long, but, oh well.  I can't believe I forgot Holes!