Benjamin Franklin, I Hate You!

Once upon a time, there was a remarkable man who came up with a whole bunch of brilliant ideas:

Bifocals

Rocking Chairs

A bucket fire brigade

Poor Richard's Almanack

His name was Benjamin Franklin, and he was a genius.  Enough of a genius to know to not go out in a thunderstorm with a key and a kite.  Despite all the legends.

There are three legends I must debunk:
1.  Benjamin Franklin did not fly a kite with a key on it to discover electricity.
2.  George Washington did not chop down the cherry tree.
3.  Daniel Boone did not wear coonskin caps.

Okay, but George Washington and Daniel Boone are but sidenotes in this rant.  Because I see a rabbit trail and I follow it.  It's not my fault bunnies are so fluffy.

ARRGH!!!! TOO FLUFFY!  TOO FLUFFY!

Okay, seriously, that bunny was so fluffy, I nearly died of fright!  Note to self:  Never Google "fluffy bunny" ever again.

Now where was I?  Oh right, Benjamin Franklin.

I mean, like I said, the man was a genius.  But just because a man is a genius does not mean you should listen to everything he says.  I mean, first of all, he was a Deist, so his view of God is going to be messed up, but beyond that.

I'm talking about what he did to our lives!  He is the reason every year, people across the world who decided to listen to this man have to go and adjust their clocks for almost no reason!

Yes, Benjamin Franklin is the one who came up with Daylight Savings Time!  What a terrible idea!

Now, I know there are going to be defenders of his idea all over me, but allow me to point something out:

Once upon a time, the world woke up with the sun, did their work, and went to bed when they couldn't see by their candles anymore.  If they could afford candles.  You get my point?  We had a system, and it worked.  If you were a farmer, you did as much as you could in a day.  And then someone came along and was like, "Hey, let's play with our clocks to get extra daylight!"

Uh...how are we saving daylight by changing our clocks?  God controls the sun rising, not my stinking alarm clock!  I mean, this is pointless.  If you want to be up to see the sunrise, then set your alarm clock to see the sunrise.

Okay, so I guess I'm writing this in Daylight Savings Time right now and that at 2:00 in the morning, it ends.  Whose idea was that?  Who chooses 2:00 in the morning?  Until recently, no one was up until 2:00 in the morning regularly, which proves my point that we don't need it!

I mean, what is the purpose?  What have I been saving daylight for?  It's there whether I want it or not!  Mr. Franklin, I blame you for this most ridiculous of developments that seriously affect my life, and I would like to thank the country of Japan for not observing it.  Other countries should follow their lead and discontinue it.  With the amount of technology we possess in the modern time, we have no need to save daylight.

You know the best way to save your daylight?  Wake up an hour earlier.  Stop inflicting us non-daylight-needing people with your need for daylight.  Congress, please do something productive and repeal Daylight Savings Time.

Thank you.