My Top 10 Pixar Feature Films

Don't worry.  I will eventually finally get to my favorite animated Disney features, but first:  Pixar!

Ah, yes, Pixar--the film company of the Millennials' childhoods.  The movies for which we get more excited about the sequels than the intended audience.  A company founded by George Lucas and associated with both Steve Jobs and the legacy of Walt Disney.  Is there any wondering why this company has without fail produced films that make us go, "PIXAR FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So, I'm sure some of you clever brains have already done the mental calculations and come to the shocking realization that when you follow Katrina Policy of counting sequels and prequels at the same time as the regular film so as not to bog down the list with unnecessary stuff...Pixar really only has 10 films.  So, yeah, you will see every full length Pixar film somewhere on this list.  So where does your favorite film rank on Katrina's scale of awesomeness?  Well, either scroll down to your favorite one or politely and calmly read through the list and discover for yourself.

10.  WALL-E--This isn't a kid's film.  It's an hour and a half nearly-silent film about how we need to take care of the Earth, watch our weight, and not allow machines to control our lives.  This is an especially odd message coming from a bunch of animators who spend their days in front of computers.  My only fun memory of this film is when a group of us college students watched it with a four-year-old who kept asking, "Mr. Seth, Mr. Seth, why is WALL-E...why is WALL-E doing that?"  Adorable kid and it made for a fun memory.  Still, I think it was a little bit too message heavy.  And clearly over the head of a four-year-old.  I'm not quite sure who your audience was, but when I put in a Pixar film I'm expecting a kids' film adults can enjoy, not...whatever WALL-E is.

9.  Brave--I really hope not liking Brave is some sign I'm getting old.  To me, this film was just...okay.  I mean, I was all excited about this archery, but then I felt like it was lacking (Perhaps too much Hawkeye and Katniss in my life?).  I felt like I was promised more archery than what I was received.  Plus, the film was all about turning Merida's mother back into a human from being a bear, and not so much about defeating Mordor Mor'du.  I guess I felt this would be a lot more action and stuff, which shows how good my friends were at keeping it from me that Merida's mom turns into a bear.  I mean, there's still some classic Pixar comic relief in there, but it's still not Pixar's finest moment.  Oh well, at least Merida will go down as the only Disney Princess to walk away with her first film without a guy.

8.  A Bug's Life--I feel so bad relegating these childhood memories to number eight, but I promise you this that if I were able to show proper rankings of how I feel about eight through one, they would be very, very closely ranked.  A Bug's Life was the first of the Pixar films to show the bloopers during the credits (a trend they've sadly strayed from in recent years) and have a teaser trailer that featured a scene not in the film.  It has really great humor, like most Pixar films.  For all time, grasshoppers are now evil.  They used to be cute and cool, but now I know they do nothing but oppress ants all day until they're eaten by birds.  Typing this is making me want to go back and watch it again, but sadly my house is completely Pixar-less.

7.  Ratatouille--Ah, the film that was a pain to learn to spell.  But, Pixar made up for it with, once again, great humor, a bit of a love story, and a misunderstood rat who just wanted to cook because he's a picky eater that would starve to death if the Pixar universe was actually realistic.  But, nonetheless, the fact that Remy overcomes all the odds and gets to live the next year or two left of his short rat life helping the son of his cooking idol run a restaurant.  Plus, there's the fact that you find out that ratatouille is not the name of the character, but rather a peasant dish that snaps the secondary villain back to his childhood when he was possibly less critical of all the food in the world.

6.  The Incredibles--Pixar made its first (and so far only) foray into the superhero world with this film, and I instantly wanted another.  I mean, yeah, this was neither the best nor the coolest film they had made, but for a girl who knew nothing of superheroes outside of Larry Boy (VeggieTales), Underdog, and Powerpuff Girls, this was a cool movie.  Being more exposed to the superhero world now, I can see how Pixar referenced the way superheroes are often ostracized from society and that superpowers seem to gained genetically.  And, of course, it's got Samuel L. Jackson as Frozone (aka Lucius Best), which has made me wonder how Frozone becomes Nick Fury a few years later, but I'm sure it's the same explanation of how the Human Torch is also Captain America.  So sorry, terribly off topic.  It's kind of like I went monologing in them middle of that.  Speaking of which, why do superheroes and supervillains allow each other to monologue like that all the time, anyway?  I mean, it's like, just defeat the guy!  Plus, we also can't forget the best character in the film.  No, not Mr. Incredible, not ElastiGirl, not Violet (who isn't even cool enough to go get a codename), not Dash, and not Jack-Jack.  None of the characters the film is named after.  No, it's E.  Duh!  Designer of superhero costumes, hater of capes (Disney has not yet informed Thor of this apparently, but he's also immortal), owner of a high tech mansion, slapper of sense into superheroes.  Seriously, she needs to be part of the Avengers.  NOW!

5.  Up--You cry for the first eleven minutes but spend the next eighty-five smiling and laughing and just in general--SQUIRREL!  Sorry about that.  Anyway, despite the fact that Carl has way too few balloons to lift his house off the ground and the fact that Russell's parents apparently don't notice that he's missing for however long it takes them to go to Paradise Falls in South America and back, this film ended up being pretty great.  I mean, you've got Kevin the snipe who isn't all we think he is.  We have talking dogs, heroes who become nemeses, cranky old men, balloons, talking dogs (wait, did I say that already?).  And, come on, the whole message is "Adventure is Out There" but that life itself is an adventure, even if you don't get to go someplace cool.  SQUIRREL!

4.  Monsters, Inc.--To clear everything up, I have not seen Monsters University yet, so I have Monsters, Inc. ranked solely on the merits of the first film about two buddies who have to deal with a human girl Sully accidentally lets into the Monster World.  And then Boo has this adorable costume and draws adorable pictures and has these adorable pigtails and speaks adorable babble speech, and...and...CUTENESS OVERLOAD!  Plus, Randall and Henry J. Waternoose make excellent villains.  And Randall's got a pretty sweet skill there with the whole chameleon thing going on.  The door storage warehouse scene with them jumping all over the world was also excellent.  I now want to run into the Abominable Snowman (even though he doesn't actually exist, I know) and have lemon flavored snowcones.  Plus, look, monsters are more scared of you than you are of them.  23-19!  23-19!  We have a 23-19 here!  I am so looking forward to finally seeing Monsters University sometime.

3.  Cars and Cars 2--Cars 2 didn't affect my third favorite all-time Pixar film's ranking mostly based on the fact that the original Cars was awesome and the Japanese part of Cars 2 basically made the film for me.  That segment was so highly accurate, I nearly died of laughter.  So what lets the Cars franchise rank so high?  Well, you've got Mater, "as in Tow-Mater, except without the 'tuh!" making me laugh at nearly every turn.  And there's that whole heart-touching song "Our Town" about how Radiator Springs used to be in the glory days of Route 66 that makes you realize how history is passing.  Plus, the fact that Lightning doesn't actually win the final race was an excellent choice.  I like having a film every once in a while that points out that winning is everything, especially in the participation award-fueled (no pun intended) world kids are living in.

2.  The Toy Story Trilogy--A trilogy redeemed by the third film is a rare sight, especially in the realm of Disney.  How many of us will admit that we had some Toy Story toys around the house or at least wanted them?  Woody and Buzz are, like, the BFFs of our childhood.  We began to wish that we might accidentally see our toys come to life.  But the sequel came, and everything became, "Meh" for me.  As more Pixar films came out, Toy Story and Toy Story 2 found themselves falling on my list.  But redemption came in 2010 with the release of the third and final film of the trilogy.  I was a junior in college, and watching the film, I could remember the pain of giving up/leaving my own toys behind as I went to college not that long ago.  Oh, so many little children love and will love the story of Toy Story 3, as they see the continuation (and hopefully finale) of the lives of their favorite animated toys.  But for those of us who grew up with with the Toy Story franchise, this film represented everything we had done, were doing, or would do.  With this film, we learned that childhood was something we would have to bid farewell too.  Sweet pages were closing in our lives, but it was okay.  Those toys we gave up would continue to live and be happy with their new owners.  And although we were sad, they would be happy because toys are meant to be played with--not kept in museums or boxes.

1.  Finding Nemo--GET OUT OF MY WAY, CHILDREN OF 2015, I'LL HAVE BEEN TWELVE YEARS FOR THIS SEQUEL!  He-loo, weee aaare the Fiindinng NEE-moo FANS!  Wee can speeak wha-ALE.  "Mine!  Mine!  Mine!  Mine!"  "FISHY, WAKE UP!"  And what's the other address all of us have memorized besides our own?  P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.  WE REMEMBERED!  "Hi, I'm Dory."  "Fish are friends, not food."  "Duude."  You'd think that a story about a father on his way to go find his son wouldn't garner such a dedicated and enthusiastic fanbase.  I mean, this is such a common theme in movies.  And they just redid with clownfish and we fell in love.  Plus, we never were so interested in dentistry as in those few intense moments with the dentist's fish watching it like it's a spectator sport.  And then Disney-Pixar was like, "Maybe a sequel" but then were like, "Nope."  And then they were like, "Hey, Ellen, how about a sequel for real this time?"  And the world was like, "Oh, yeah!"  Because, let's face it, the sharks, the turtles, the pelicans, the fish school, the fish tank gang--I mean, that was all great and stuff, but who was our favorite character?  Let's see...Corey.  No, I mean, Lori.  Oh, right, Dory!  So that is why I am so pumped and excited that two years, four months, and ten days from now, Finding Dory will be a real thing.  Because Finding Nemo is the best Pixar film of all time.

So, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes today's list.  Coming up next time, my final list in the Disney series.  And then I can finally move onto other stuff!