A Post About Singleness (And Not the Normal Type)

Maybe this is a completely ridiculous post to follow the last one, but it's what's on my mind.

So often, we see posts pinned over our Pinterest and shared on our Facebook about the glories and wonders of being single and how worth it is to wait for the right guy.

But, the thing is, that some of us, we honestly really struggle with singleness in the way that we can't write those encouraging posts.  In fact, I've come to dislike seeing them because it's a reminder of what I've never had.

I know we're supposed to be all "whatsoever state I am in, wherewith to be content" all the stinking time.  We're not supposed to struggle with this because as soon as we admit we are, we're reminded that God either has a plan for us to be single forever or that he's saving us for that perfect man.

But I'm here to tell you, girls, that this is hard.  I turn twenty-three on Sunday, and I have never, ever dated.  I don't even know if a guy has ever liked me as more than a friend.  Don't get me wrong, my guy friends are awesome, and most of the guys I've liked have been the situation where it's better off I never dated them.  But, really, I try to make this a laughing matter ("Thirteen straight Artist Series and no man-date, not even as friends!  Is that a record?"), but I laugh because I'm trying to not make myself cry.

Oh, if you're one of my guy friends, and you've been brave enough to click and read this post, don't think you've done something terrible.  You guys have been wonderful friends who have given me more laughs and life lessons than I ever expected to get out of a guy friend.

But, really, at the end of the day, sometimes I just wish I had a boyfriend.  And I'm sick of hearing all of it:
"You're still so young!"
"God's got the perfect guy for you somewhere!"
"God has a perfect plan!"
"Find the way God can use you as a single woman!"
"Stop worrying about guys and go hang out with some good girl friends."
"Once you content yourself with singleness, then the right guy will come along."

Those are the words used to comfort and advise me so often, but they don't seem to help.  Really, all I want sometimes is a pile of Dove chocolates, a butter rum cafe au lait, and someone to listen as I cry without offering any of the advice listed above.

No, that's the minimum I want.  What I really want is a boyfriend.  I want to do the goo-goo eyes thing I make fun of all the couples for doing.  I want to have that one or two or ten goofy thing(s) we do as a couple.

But most of all, I want the Boaz to my Ruth (without the whole first husband dying thing; I can skip that part just fine).  I want that guy who loves me and wants to take care of me.

But, no, when I say I want that hole in my life filled, I've so often had it shot down by friends who tell me that I just need to wait.

I KNOW I NEED TO WAIT!  And, honestly, I'm tired of waiting.  I'm just so, so tired of it.  To have gone twenty-three years and never known if a guy has ever looked your way and thought of you as nothing more than a good friend is painful.  You begin to wonder if you shouldn't have been yourself so much, if any guy could really love that dorky girl who trips over perfectly flat rugs, who knows more random trivia than a person should know, and who can't sing on key but still loves to sing anyway.

Really, who could love a girl as annoying as me?  For crying out loud, I'm still trying to figure out how Americans work.  Why do we have patriotic church services while seemingly condemning the very government that allows us our religious freedom?  Are we really surprise unsaved rulers aren't acting like Christians?

AARGH!  There I go actually outright saying what I believe again and not caring what others think because I know what I believe.  That's probably turned a few guys off.

I see it posted around Pinterest and Facebook (summarizing here), "The common factor in all your failed relationships is you."  Is this supposed to be an encouragement? a challenge to change? a way of telling me that I stink at life?

Listen, I know I stink at life.  Everyone does.  But how am I supposed to change?  What element of Katrina is supposed to change in order to make people like me more?  If you even dare to answer that question, I'm not going to like your answer.
Do you want me to be quieter?
Do I laugh too much or too obnoxiously?
Do I act too childish?
Am I too smart?

I'm sure every girl who's been single for any length of time has asked herself these same questions.  And there's not really any answer to them.  I'm so worried that if I try to change one thing about myself (except for the part where I focus more on God), that I'll change something that just ends up making me a terrible, miserable person.  I am who I am, and there's certain things about me I don't want to change.  I mean, yes, I'm always growing and changing every day, but it seems like when people say you need to change something they mean to change it now, today, and try not to mess up on the thing you changed.

Oh, girls of this world who read my blog, I know this hasn't been a very normal singleness post, but sometimes I think we read too much of the "Waiting For My Prince Charming" posts.  Someone out there has perpetuated the idea that we need to use their formula to make us content with our singleness until he comes.  I'm here to tell you that I am a blogger who has not found a formula that works for her.  In other words, this blog post does not exist in any way, shape, or form to tell you to go out there and live happily with your singleness like everything is fine.

Is it really so wrong to long in tears for that special someone?  Girls, God did not create man (or woman) to be alone in this world, and although singleness may befall some of us for our whole lives, we are crying tears for something that is genuinely perfect to long for.  Some of us will take longer than others to find our knight in shining armor.  And what I'm saying is that if while you're waiting, you need to shed a few tears, go and do it.  Every desire you feel for wanting a guy is perfectly normal.

I'd also like you to know that I went through a six-month period of my life where I really was perfectly happy being single.  And then I started liking a guy, and for a bit over three years now, I've rarely had a day where I was like, "You know, I just LOVE being single!  I think I'll just delete my Pinterest board and pretend wedding dresses and engagement rings don't exist."  Sometimes I wish I could somehow turn off my desire for this guy and go back to being happily single, but God doesn't seem to grant me that request.  For three years, I have prayed that God would make me stop liking this guy, and it has not stopped.

And so that is why I cry.  Because I find myself liking a guy who might never like me back, even though he knows I exist on this planet (Every guy I've ever liked has known about my existence due to the fact I fall for personality over looks, and, trust me, some of you girls who think that having this problem would be wonderful--it is a world of its own problems.).  A guy that I wish so badly would just pull up my Chat on Facebook one day and say, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Is this the same girl who says friendzone isn't terrible?"
Oh, yes, it is me.  Because some guys are absolutely wonderful to be in the friendzone with.  But sometimes you just wish that one guy would decide to take it a step beyond the friendzone.

So, I know this post was probably an utterly stupid one to make, and part of me is going to be second guessing myself for ever posting it, convincing myself that one blog post about how it feels for girls to be single will forever ruin my changes of marriage, but it's got to be said:
My name is Katrina, and I wish so badly that my single days would be over.

Guy Friends

Hello, blog readers.  Welcome to another post made by me.  Yeah, I know it's been a week since I last posted.  I mean, I've been writing posts in my head, but I haven't actually written on the blog.

Ooh, by the way, big announcement:  I'm spending the next month of my life moving to Indiana so I can teach history and English to elementary kids and junior highers next school year.  Woo hoo!  But that's not what I'm going to officially post about today.  No, today, I want to post about some very cool people in my life, and why I believe they're so important.  I'm talking about my guy friends.

Honestly, I don't know how to properly explain how awesome it is to have guy friends like mine.  I refer to my closest guy friends as "adopted brothers," and they are some of the most awesome people on planet earth.  I mean, not only did one of them and I recently have an awesome moment like this on Facebook:

Hehe...yeah, I'm a little in love with my fandoms...Although he's not entirely accurate.  I will merely have to educate any uneducated man on the above topics.

But my guy friends during college did so much to push me towards God and become more Christlike.  My guy friends have made me laugh and have prayed about things that have upset me to tears.  They have actually seen these tears themselves at times.

"Wait, you let guys who aren't your boyfriend or brothers see you cry?"

Why should I hide it?  I am not an impervious to emotions, and the guys who saw me cry were like brothers to me.  I mean, I hate to cry in front of anyone, really.  I hate to cry.  I mean, the first time I cried because of a movie was when Jack Sparrow got eaten by the kraken in Pirates of the Caribbean:  Dead Man's Chest.

So, yeah, basically any crying for me at all is a big deal.  And usually I wouldn't mean to cry, but I'd be saying something emotional (usually as a prayer request), and I'd get choked up, and a few tears would fall.  I don't think any of them saw my out-and-out bawling my eyes out, but they did see tears.  And that's not a bad thing.

"But then you get emotionally attached!"

Oh my word, I'm getting emotionally attached to my friends, and that's a bad thing?!?!  No joke, they're friends.  You're supposed to be emotionally attached to them!

"But they're guys, and you're a girl, and..."

And...what?  Honestly, why is there all this social pressure that the only reason guys and girls form friendships is because they like each other as more than friends?  I have been asked before if I like certain guy friends because I talk about them and tell stories about fun stuff we did at work or church.  Can no one of opposite genders be friends without questions being asked?

I mean, maybe this is just a Baptist college thing.  I mean, at Northland, all you have to do is go to the coffee shop together, and people begin to wonder if you're dating.  It's kind of ridiculous.  Fortunately, I never went to the Daily Grind with any guys unless we were working on a group project.  Anyway, that is a completely different topic.

Go ahead...grab a chair...we won't ask questions...but we'll all be thinking it...

Back to the topic of guy friends.  It's not like I ever went digging around campus looking for the perfect guy friends to add to my collection.  Just like most friendships, these things just happened.  Over time, we would get to know each other better, and I would begin to trust them more (although, never as much as I trust my friend who are girls), and I would open up more.  Sometimes, it would be just one of my guy friends and me standing around talking, and I wouldn't care what people thought.  If they asked me if anything else was there, I could easily tell them "no," because as far as I knew, there was nothing there, and I had no desire for anything deeper to develop.

"Yeah, right!"

Okay, yes, at times I did develop crushes on guy friends, but that was very rare, and we still remained friends and stuff.  And, overall, that didn't really happen because I have had a lot of guy friends during my life.  Twice, when I was little, I had guys as my best friend:

Me and Willem

Me and Carl (snipped from class picture)

Basically, I never was really guy-ophobic.  I mean, yes, I had my boy hating stage around age eight and nine.  And then there's the fact that if I'm not VERY comfortable around a group of guys, I'm not going to go do stuff with them over the girls, even if I prefer what the guys are going to do (Yes, I'm one of those girls who would rather be over there kicking a soccer ball or trying to shoot a basketball than standing around in a little circle talking with a bunch of girls about girl stuff.).  But, really, I don't think guys should be excluded from my close friendships solely on the basis of their gender.

So, as a girl who's been a lifelong friend of guys, what would my advice be to girls who have guys who are friends/who want guy friends?

Party with Friends--2008

1.  Let the friendship form naturally.  Just like any friendship, if it's going to happen, it'll happen.  If it's not meant to happen, then it won't.  Don't just pick a random guy and think, "You are my new guy friend, and we will get to know each other and become like siblings."  Quite honestly, all my friendships with guys just kind of...happened.  We happened to talk because of some mutual friends, we found some common interests, and next thing you know, I was going to get paid $1,000 if I fell on stage at graduation and managed to take out the president on the way down.
2.  Don't tell them everything you tell your girl friends.  I feel this one should be obvious, but based on the Internet, it isn't.  Girls, he doesn't always need to know the reason you're upset, unless he's the problem, in which case, you might want to discuss that with him and clear up any misunderstandings that occurred.  But, really, sometimes I would just be like, "I'm not in a good mood.  I'll be fine later."  Sometimes, my attitude would clear up in a few minutes, and I'd be my normal, laughing self again; sometimes, my mood would take a couple days to improve.  Like I've said, guys have seen me cry, but never as much as my girl friends.  I don't tell guys who I'm crushing on (Although, if they figure it out, as has happened, then so be it, as long as they don't go spreading it around.) or what I'm planning on wearing to Artist Series.  Some conversations are better left for when there's only women in the room.

Another Party--2009

3.  Respect them.  Despite everything popular culture would like to tell us, guys are no more idiots than girls are.  For every guy who's an idiot, there is an equally airhead girl somewhere.  Unfortunately, it would be sexist or something for the TV to tell us that, so popular culture instead portrays men as stupid people who need the women and children in their lives to figure everything out.  Here's a novel idea:  Let the guy lead.  If I really love my guy friends, I will listen to what they have to say.  Even if I think his plan is the stupidest one on planet earth...which actually rarely happens.  Maybe I've just got extremely smart guy friends, but the ones I call brothers, I would trust, on average, in almost any situation.
4.  Allow them to talk about things they want to talk about.  Really, if you made him put up with your latest episode of "Adventures at the Mall," you should be prepared to in return listen to him talk about Halo or the Green Bay Packers or whatever else for a while.  It's not all about you.  This goes for any friendship.  You can learn a lot by listening to someone talk about something you don't know a ton about.  Allow your world to expand.  Friendships go both ways.  Honestly, though, if they get inappropriate, be prepared to remind them there is a girl in the room (and just you remember those moments when you and your girl friends start to get a little TMI when a guy is around, okay? ;) ).

Yet Another Party--2009

5.  Feed them.  Seriously, give them food.  On average, I've found they don't always care if I made cookies myself or bought a package of Oreos at Wal-Mart.  They just want food.  And they will eat food.  Popcorn, Cheez-Its, beef jerky, frozen cookie dough, whatever--you give them food, and they will eat it.  And you will form an inexplicable deeper friendship bond simply because you gave them food.  I don't know how or why this works, but it does.
6.  Don't form the friendship simply because you have a crush on the guy.  Seriously, this is doomed to backfire and failure.  Take it from a girl who knows.  If you form a friendship with a guy, and it's solely because you're attracted to him, when you don't like him anymore or when he finds out and admits he doesn't like you, everything crumbles.
7.  Stop worrying about what people will think.  I've had to do this.  I'll be standing there, talking with one of my guy friends, and this annoying voice will whisper, "What are people thinking?"  I've had to learn to just toss this voice aside with, "Well, we know we're not dating, and if anyone asks, we can tell them that."

Work Crew--2011

8.  "The Friendzone" is not the worst thing in the world.  Girls, not every close friendship with a guy needs to lead to dating.  Hey, maybe he'll date another girl.  So what?  You and he can still be friends, and hopefully she doesn't get jealous of you.  And if he starts paying more attention to her and less attention to you, big whip.  She's his girlfriend.  What were you expecting?  Maybe I'm sounding harsh and sarcastic here, but really, when he starts dating, she's going to mean more and more to him as time goes on.  That's kind of how dating relationships go.  His guy friends probably have an empty controller at the Xbox because he's spending time with his girlfriend.
9.  But what if he and I start liking each other?  Uh...congratulations!  That is so awesome!  You and a guy started out as being just friends and you fell in love, and now you'll get to go to the coffee shop together and stare at each other longingly for six hours a day while your friends ask for weeks if you're dating yet.  And then you'll start dating, and then when you get engaged, all your friends will be like, "Finally!" because they're so sick of the eye babies you're making all the time.  And then you get all the stress of wedding planning, and you can tell everyone that it all started out by just being friends.  And I think those are some of the sweetest love stories because these two fell in love simply because they liked to hang out with each other.
10.  Have fun.  Really, just whatever it is you and your guy friend like doing together, do it.  Have your little inside jokes.  Make some crazy memories.  Celebrate birthdays.

Extension Team--2011

11.  Push each other more towards Christ.  I saved this one for last because it's the most important.  Maybe you can't share your deepest prayer requests with him, but you two can pray for each other, even as "just friends."  I've prayed for my guy friends as they've gone on mission trips, broken up with their girlfriends, lost loved ones, didn't know if they could afford to come back to school the next semester, etc.  And I know they've prayed for me too.  The guys I was closest to in college were the ones that I prayed with and for the most.  And then there are the wonderful conversations we've had about God, whether discussing theology or just being amazed at the way God works in our lives.  Even if you stink at singing, sing some of your favorite hymns or worship songs.  The best friendships you will ever form, whether with guys or girls, are the ones where you let God in on it.  He will strengthen your friendship and make you love each other in Christ even more.

Maybe you're not the type of girl who really is friends with guys, and that's okay too.  This world is made of all types of people.  But for girls like me, forming these friendships is important because guy-girl friendships are completely different from girl-girl friendships, and in a good way.  These are friendships that made me see life differently.  Believe it or not, even if I never marry one of my guy friends from college (and since many of them seem to be happily pairing off with females who are not me), I feel each of them has prepared me in some way for my future husband (Should God allow me to marry.) because each of them taught me something about guys and how to treat them (Although, trust me, I've had girls who've had to teach me stuff about guys so I didn't completely ruin my friendships with them.).  So, if you're nervous or scared about getting to know a guy more, take comfort in this:  I have no idea how to form friendships with guys either.  All I know is that after I wind up stuck with them is to throw them some food every once in a while and be myself.  And...that's how I ended up with all these guys eating my cookies and making me laugh so hysterically I could barely move.

I guess in the end, I'm the worst person to come to for advice about this because I have no idea what I'm doing.  I'm just making it up while I go along.

But, wait, isn't that how life goes most of the time anyway?

The Importance of Dolls

Jean Valjean gives Cosette the doll

“The doll is one of the most imperious needs and, at the same time, one of the most charming instincts of feminine childhood. To care for, to clothe, to deck, to dress, to undress, to redress, to teach, scold a little, to rock, to dandle, to lull to “sleep, to imagine that something is some one,—therein lies the whole woman's future. While dreaming and chattering, making tiny outfits, and baby clothes, while sewing little gowns, and corsages and bodices, the child grows into a young girl, the young girl into a big girl, the big girl into a woman. The first child is the continuation of the last doll.

A little girl without a doll is almost as unhappy, and quite as impossible, as a woman without children.”  (Victor Hugo, Les Miserables)

I'm reading through Les Miserables right now (The book so far is WAY better than the movie!), and I came across this quotation yesterday, and I must agree that it is completely true.  I have heard of girls who have little to no interest in dolls, but I was not one of them.  As long as I can remember, I have had a favorite doll.

I mean, I don't remember what my first favorite doll was.  My memory picks up somewhere with Alison.  I nthe picture above, she's the third Cabbage Patch Kid from the left.  If you struggle with left and right, she's the one with the word "third" below her.  Also, you should know that the Madeline doll next to her is the second Madeline doll I went through as a kid.  I kind of over-loved the first one, so she had to be replaced.  Anyway, my earliest doll memories include Alison; Amy (my Japanese doll); the first Madeline; Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy; and my Puffalump, whose name I've forgotten, so we'll just call her Baby, although I have a feeling Baby was someone else.  Actually several someone elses.  Also, I'm sure I had other dolls, but I can't remember them as well.

Super soft body; incredibly hard head in comparison

So, then I got Nicholas (labeled "second" in the above picture) when my first little brother was born.  And somewhere along the way for Christmas I got Get Well Baby, who may have had some other name, which I have also forgotten, who is not in the above picture because I think I had to get rid of her before we moved to Japan.  We kept her medicine and doctor stuff, though.  She was my favorite doll the week I had chicken pox.  Oh, and then Christmas of 1995, I got my last Cabbage Patch doll Nicole (labeled "first" above).

After we moved to Japan, I got Katelyn (a doll you could record voices on), Jocelyn, and one other doll who's name I've forgotten that was the type that peed when you put water in her, but my parents only let me do that once, which was probably a smart move.

I guess, in general, I just really, really liked dolls.  I mean, I haven't even gotten to the two dollhouses of my early childhood,

multiple Polly Pockets from back when they actually fit in your pocket,

 and Barbies that I didn't really play with a ton.

Ahem, anyway that is a really long picture introduction leading up to the ultimate level of my doll love.

My absolute favorite dolls were my American Girl dolls.  I got Molly when I was seven, and Kit when I was ten.

Molly and me

Kit

I mean, really, Kit and Molly were probably more important to me than all my other dolls.

The other dolls I used as Mr. Hugo described in his novel.  Or, rather, as a young child I played with dolls as if I were their mommy.  I fed them their bottles and changed their diapers.  I guess things changed after a while because I got lonely.  I didn't have a ton of friends after we moved to Japan.  I mean, I had a few, but none my age.  And then about a year and a half later is when I held Molly doll in my arms.  In first her and later Kit I found sisters.  Oh, yes, they were still dependent upon me for changing their clothes and such, but in this world there is a doll with long brown hair and gray eyes and another one with short blonde hair and blue eyes who received all the love a little girl who had no sisters and few friends could give.  In my imagination, they argued and agreed like sisters; they talked to me and listened to me when I would let no one else in.  These two dolls, although made of vinyl and plastic and cloth and whatever else, were my sisters when I had none, my confidants when I had no one else I wanted to tell stuff too.

Oh, during my Molly and Kit years, I picked up a few porcelain dolls, but Kirsten, Britta, Samantha, and Jolene (Yes, three out of four were named after American Girl characters.) never compared to my American Girl dolls.  I was absorbed into historical worlds that I still have no desire to escape.  My American Girl dolls are so much more than toys; they are my childhood.  They are what turned me from a child who knew little about the past of the world to one who loved history.  Yes, my dolls prepared me for motherhood as Victor Hugo prescribed, but through the company that sold me two dolls, I also bought dozens of books that taught me about my world both past and present.  Through a desire for a doll, I ended up gaining a desire to learn and, almost more importantly at the time of purchase, a friend.

So, in the end, a doll always has been and always will be more than a toy.  It is one of the most important items a girl can ever own.

The Problem With The Combined Fictional Worlds Map

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a problem with the above map.  PLEASE assure me of this!  I mean, it's "Camp Half-Blood," not "Half-Blood Camp," Narnia doesn' have any of it's surrounding lands, Oz and Alagaesia are completely left out, etc., etc., etc.

Now, I can't draw worth a single Mushroom Kingdom coin, but I can go on the Internet, save a bunch of maps to my computer and put them all on a page on my blog so you can click right here and look at a bunch of different maps I've gathered together to help me prove the points I'm about to make here.

I'm not saying that maps such as these should be completely abandoned.  I think they're awesome ideas, but putting these countries in such close proximity is when everything falls apart.  I haven't read all the books/watched all the films and shows for all the fictional lands, but I think I know enough about a few to give us a good idea on what is wrong:

1.  Some lands are outright stated to be imaginary.  Such lands are "Terabithia," and although not pictured here, Mr. Rogers' "Neighborhood of Make Believe," and "The Hundred Acre Wood."  These lands could never be placed on any such map because they are only of the mind.  Yes, some people are going to pull out the Harry Potter quotation on me about how just because something's in your head doesn't make it any less real.  Still, I can't feel right about having places that aren't real even in their fictional world being placed on a map.

2.  Some places are completely left out.  Obviously, this is because the person who created the map doesn't have these places among their fandoms.  Just because something isn't one of your fandoms doesn't mean it should be left out.  I mean, I'm not part of the Harry Potter fandom or the Game of Thrones fandoms, but I still included those maps on the linked page so those who are in those fandoms can be satisfied.  So, what fictional lands did this cartographer of fiction not include?  Oz, Alagaesia (the Inheritance Cycle), the Mushroom Kingdom (Mario), Far Far Away/Dulac (Shrek), Andalasia (Enchanted), and probably some more that are escaping my my memory.

3.  The surrounding countries of several kingdoms are not included and countries are shaped incorrectly.  The two I can right out tell you are inaccurate are Westeros (as little as I know about it) and Narnia.  I mean, where's Essos?  Where are Archenland, Calormen, and the islands Prince Caspian sailed to aboard the Dawn Treader?  These are significant places to these series, yet on this map, they've just been dropped like they don't matter.  Also, some countries are just shaped wrongly.  They're either too big or just plain malformed.

4.  Some of these places are in our world.  Camp Half-Blood and Hogwarts are both hidden places that can only be located by those who belong to the classes of individuals allowed to attend (demigods or wizards), and Panem is North America in the future.  Furthermore, this map chose to include the famous training locations of demigods and wizards but left out Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters--the training place for mutants.  Obviously, if we include that, then we have other places to worry about such as Stark Tower, Gotham City, Metropolis, etc., but we'll conquer that topic in a little bit.

5.  Narnia is on a flat world, while other countries are located on spherical worlds.  I think that says enough.  Narnia can in no way be part of the same world as anything that is on a globe.  Narnia is flat (The Voyage of the Dawn Treader).

As already stated, though, I believe maps like this are excellent ideas, but they need to be well thought out, not just patched together willy-nilly in a sort of "Ooh, I got a great idea, let's place all my fandoms in one gigantic map!" way.  How can this be repaired, though?

Simple.

A fictional world UNIVERSE map.

"Say what?"

Okay, I mean, let's just think of something, by desiring to place everything on one map, the cartographer has neglected the Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica, Babylon 5, Firefly, Doctor Who, etc. fandoms.  The fictional world is a galaxy to explore!  Oh, that leads to my first point of how to improve this.

1.  Multiple planets.  By saying "planets," I'm also including the fact that Narnia is apparently some flat-like-a-map object floating out there in space.  I don't understand how this works; I just have to accept the fact that C.S. Lewis is a kajillion times smarter than me, which is something I accept extremely readily, and I haven't even read Mere Christianity yet (It's on my to do list!).  Also, let's not forget the fact that Neverland is also in space, "second to the right and straight on 'til morning."  Then there's all the planets that are in the above-mentioned fandoms.  I mean, really, it's extraordinary, and I'd love to be the person who managed to chart out all these fictional galaxies.

2.  Include a straight out map of our world.  On it, mark Star Fleet Academy, Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter, 221B Baker Street, Cedric Diggory's house (where the rings to Narnia are buried), Hogwarts and the other wizarding schools, the rabbit hole to Wonderland, 17 Cherry Tree Lane, the locations of the Stargates on earth, Jurassic Park, Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Tortuga and the Isla de Muerta, all the cities and towns of the DC and Marvel universes, etc.  You have to remember that this is not our world exactly.  Trust me, we would have heard of some sort of crazy events going on, even if perception filters and the Mist kept us from seeing the truth.  Plus, let's not forget the fact that we'd definitely see newspaper articles about the stuff the Winchester brothers of Supernatural are up to.  So, this is an alternate earth in an alternate universe--just one of the multiple planets that will be drawn on the gigantic map above.  On this alternate earth, as will be noted on the map, North America eventually becomes Panem, home of The Hunger Games.  Based on the technology of Panem, it happened sometime after the last recorded events of Star Trek and Firefly.  In Serenity, the voiceover states that Earth-That-Was got too crowded, although I imagine enough people were left on it when Panem formed to still have such competitions.  This alternate world can also be justified by the existence of all the Presidents and Prime Ministers that never existed in our world.

3.  The Isle of Sodor is in another universe completely from the above universe.  Here's my theory, disturbing as it is:  In one universe, vehicles began to become sentient beings.At the time of the events of Thomas the Tank Engine, everything was fine and good, because they still needed the humans to control them.  However, as time progressed and the self-driving car was invented/evolved, the vehicles no longer needed the humans and took over the planet somehow, allowing for a world like Pixar's Cars where there are many vehicles, all talking and apparently reproducing, but no humans driving them.  There's your extremely disturbing thought of the day, and yet more evidence I have been watching Pixar far beyond the age I should be.

4.  Portals between this world and our world could exist.  This is, of course, assuming events like that of Narnia did indeed happen in our world.  The easiest way to get to this world is to find the yellow and green ring Digory Kirk's Uncle Andrew invented, and jump into the ponds in the world between worlds until we found our desired world.  Other methods are a bit harder.  Obviously, the average tornado is destructive, but in The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy happens to get picked up in one that has either a) also picked up a portal to another world (This one happening to be Oz.) or b) is a portal to another world.  The rabbit hole that Alice falls down is also another such portal, and is probably the exact same sort of portal that the characters in Enchanted use to get between Andalasia and Times Square, even though that particular one is a manhole.  Both, nonetheless, are portals to another world where things do not work exactly like here.

5.  An explanation of why some lands have talking animals and some don't.  First of all, Alternate Earth is extremely similar to ours.  It merely contains people and a few places that don't exist in our world.  These lands where animals can talk are quite like Narnia.  I imagine there's some sort of planet in this alternate universe where animals can talk.  I'd imagine that this particular planet is some sort of fairy tale planet.  Not all the princes and princesses we know are alive at once.  Rather, somehow our world got delivered the important stories of the histories of various royal kingdoms on this planet.  In some lands, the animals can talk, and in others they can't.  An alternate explanation could be that over time, the animals on Alternate Earth lost the ability to speak, just as Narnian animals can lose their ability to speak, however as the history of Alternate Earth includes characters such as King Arthur and Robin Hood who can't speak to animals, this explanation is highly unlikely.

Obviously, this blog post has all been in good fun, as I don't actually believe in alternate universes (Sorry!), and I know fiction is just fiction.  It's all just stories that we use to keep ourselves entertained.  But, you know what?  That's okay.  We all need that bit of fun in which we imagine what the world would be like if things weren't the way they are.  Some may condemn fantasy as wrong, but I enjoy it becuse I understand that it's all pretend; it's not real.  Still, imagine if this were real:  I think we would all immediately start running around trying to find portals to this alternate universe.

But would you really want to go?  It's dangerous.  Unless you've got the Doctor (Well, this universe's Doctor, which is the Doctor we watch on TV.) to jiggery-pokery your phone, you can't call home.  Your way back could get cut off.  You might have to live out the rest of your life without electricity or any of the comforts you've known.  Would you really want to possibly pay that price?  Maybe you would, but I think some worlds are better left in our imaginations where we can escape back to reality.  After all, reality should be where we live, and fiction should be where we visit because when we live our lives the other way around, that is when things become dangerous because we lose touch with what's real.

As a Christian, I've been called to live a life for God, not for my fandoms.  Although I believe that literature is wonderful and fun, II Corinthians 10:5 says that I am to be "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."  If I ever let the fictional world become more important than God--even C.S. Lewis's beautiful world of Narnia that alludes to Christianity--then my priorities are wrong, and I need to turn my focus back to Him.  This is true whether it is fantasy literature or shopping or Facebook or music or whatever.  And I am saying this knowing that I fail.  My mind wanders during prayer more often than I should, and instead of talking to God, I find myself thinking about my writing or what I want to happen in life or even checking Facebook and Pinterest.  My priorities can be seriously messed up sometimes.  So, if you're a Christian, before you start your next TV show marathon or pick up a novel, think about if you've spent any time with God yet today.  He is more important than whatever you are about to do.  I know this is not the topic I started with up top, but it came to my heart as I was wrapping up, and I felt that it was important to end with this:  that the Bible is better than any fantasy novel you will ever read and your relationship with God is more important than your favorite couple getting together.

World War II Reenactment Camp

Molly-ception

So, today, I finally got to check something off my bucket list.  Although I'm mainly a Civil War history nerd, I am also definitely a World War II history person.  I'm not as far gone into this, mainly because Civil War was what held my attention during college, but World War II is my first history love.  I fell in love with it thanks to my American Girl doll Molly back when I was seven years old, and I have not regretted falling in love with it since.  It handles my love of the Civil War just fine and knows it always hold a special place in my nerdy history heart.

Anyway, today I woke up and just could not sit still for some reason.  Like, really, I tried to sit down at the computer and work on the lesson for the Sunday school lesson I'm subbing for tomorrow, but my whole body was like, "Um...no," and I was more fidgety than Sherlock before going off to solve the case of the Hound of the Baskerville in the current BBC remake.

So, I finally decided that in order to burn my energy, I would go and buy a wedding gift for my friends' wedding in a couple weeks.  So off to Target I went in my penguin shirt that I almost never wear in public unless I forget I have it on and run off to the store.  When I was almost there, I remembered, "Oh yeah, today's the day I was going to go to the Civil War Reenactment Camp they've got set up near my house today!"  So I bought the gift and then headed straight over there, not even wanting to stop at my apartment and change into something else because IT'S HISTORY STUFF!!!  HISTORY!!!!!  (I may have a few obsession issues in this area.)

Yeah, so I get there (Oh, and I should also mention I'm in sandals, which I normally don't want to wear to this type of stuff because of the walking, but fortunately there wasn't too much walking), and it's like, "Where do I go first?  What do I do?  I LOVE HISTORY!"

So, basically, here's a summary of what I did:

German Camp

British Camp

Doctor Who References

Machine Gunners at American Camp

Free Food at USO Barn

Replica 101st Airborne Stables

Replica Pacific Barracks

Americans Capturing Germans

Soviet Tent

Germans Capturing Americans

 And then I had to go home and eat supper and call my dad for Father's Day because it was tomorrow already in Japan.  Then I got myself all prettied up...

....right down to my shoes...

...and went to the WWII USO-style dance, where I enjoyed the music and turned down the two reenactors who asked me to dance.

They also had a couple games to play, which I ended up participating in both because they were having a hard time finding volunteers (just like college).  The first game was musical chairs, and you could always jump back in after you got out, but after nearly sitting in a reenactor's lap once, I was done.

Also, I bought a cool hat:

So, basically, I got to talk with a bunch of cool reenactors (How do I know they were cool?  Because they're reenactors.  Yes, I know that's circular reasoning.  Deal with it.).  Especially the Soviet reenactor was really cool.  I mean, there aren't a ton of Americans lining up to be Soviet reenactors apparently, and then during the USO event, he got constantly teased by the American reenactors and the German reenactors.  Plus, he knew so much.  I was there the same time as this dad and kid, and they were Serbian (but no accent), and they asked a lot of good questions (and the kid, who was probably somewhere between seven and nine, knew a ton of stuff himself), so I got to spend a lot of time just standing there listening.

I also came partway into a reenactor talking about the 101st Airborne, who are pretty fascinating (even if you haven't watched Band of Brothers to give you a frame of reference; which I have seen that miniseries, and I basically would recommend it).

But, yeah, it's just a fascinating story, and to hear someone tell the real story after I'd seen the miniseries last year was SO COOL!  Like, standing there sometimes with my mouth just hanging open cool (Those who've sat near me in a history class know this expression.  It's the one where I've just been overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of what I'm being taught.)

Also, there was this lady who talked about the home front during the War, and she was one of those types who encourages you to keep passing on the stories of the past because they need to be.  That's why we have reenactments.  We don't want to lose our past, our history.  Be it good or bad, our history has made our world what it is today.  The seemingly smallest actions can have the most far-reaching consequences.  Our world today cannot be properly understood without understanding the history of what has shaped and formed the relationships among peoples and nations.  Yet, somehow, we choose to forget our history, either because our history teacher was boring, or the whole subject seemed irrelevant.  My dear reader, history is not irrelevant.  Without history, you would not be here.  (Think about that.  It's not as profound as it sounds.)  As my favorite history teacher often quoted, "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does often rhyme," and only by learning from history can we prevent some of the most terrible rhymes from happening again.  World War II is full of events we hope are never rhymed, yet if we forget what happened 70 years ago, terrible things will come again.  So take advantage of a historical event or a museum near you; go and learn something about history.  You might be surprised how fascinating the subject is.  It's full of things you couldn't invent if you wanted to, and you will forever be learning something new.

Oh No, I'm Having Missionary Kids Over!

Yeah, sorry this continuation took me a bit to get to.  I just really, really wanted to blog about Oreos.  Anyway, we can now move on to the promised post on what to do when you have missionary kids visit your house.  I kind of have a bit of experience in this one too.  I've been the missionary kid, and we've had missionary kids over.  Obviously, having missionary kids over is a bit different from just having the adults.  You'd think this would be obvious, but to some people, it really isn't.  Call it inexperience or ignorance, but we're not just living dolls who can sit for three hours while the adults gab on and on.  So, if you want to be "cool" in the eyes of the missionary kid, read this blog.

Before the Missionaries Come
1.  Consider whether having missionary kids in your home is a good idea.  My mom tells a story of when I was just learning to walk, we were put up with a lady who had all sorts of breakable stuff around the house.  She was very proud of her collection, but Mom was scared.  You see, I'm one of those kids who kind of skipped the crawling thing, which scientifically means you will spend the rest of your life clumsy and tripping over stuff.  Plus, there's the fact that little kids just run all around and bump into stuff and reach for stuff anyway, even if they've not been cursed with clumsiness.  So, if you have an awesome china collection, having small missionary kids in your house might not be a good idea.  I'd
say house missionary parents with the smallest of babies or missionary parents with teenagers who probably do not have bouncy balls as the toy they bring with them/win in Sunday school for being a visitor.
2.   Check the ages of the missionary kids.  I covered how to do this in a previous blog post, but let me review.  Check the prayer card and re-age kids based on either a) information found the prayer letter or b) the last time they were in the States.  Doing this is very important.  The average preteen/teenage missionary kid does not want to play with your three-year-old grandson's stuffed animals and toy train set.  Also, see if your kids or grandkids are around their age.  Invite the grandkids over for the evening/afternoon.  I may be shy, but I want friends--even one-day friends.  And, please, let me sleep in your daughter's room if she's within a year or two of my age.  I have to spend all my hotel weekends in the same room as my brothers and parents.  I have to live with them.  I know it's just sleeping, but talking goes on before the sleeping, so have your kids with a similar age/gender to the missionary kid clear a spot on the floor to sleep.  I don't mind the sleeping bag as long as I get to be with someone my age.
3.  Have age-appropriate "stuff" ready for the missionary kids.  You don't know what they like, that's true.  However, here's a brief list to give you an idea of what to have available:  a variety of board games (check to make sure there aren't any missing pieces), books, toys (up until about age 10 or 11), "art" supplies (even if it's just handing them crayons/a pen/a pencil/colored pencils/markers and paper), and DVDs/videos.  This way, the kids can keep themselves entertained while the grownups chat.  Maybe they did bring their own toys, but if you're just having the MKs for the afternoon, their toys might have been left at the hotel/house, or if you are having them overnight, kids just love to play with toys that aren't theirs.  I speak from experience.

When the Missionaries Arrive
No matter if you have kids or not:
1.  Ask about bedtime/nap time.  You don't want cranky missionary kids in tomorrow's/tonight's service.  You know how you don't want the missionary to go fifteen minutes over when he preaches tomorrow?  The missionaries don't want their kids to go to bed an hour later simply because you were chatting and didn't give them a chance to put little Sarah and Caleb down on time.
2.  Let the missionary parents be the kids of the parents.  If the parents say no, don't you go trying to override it, no matter how much your child is questioning the missionaries' decision.  And if the MK needs to go be punished, let the parents punish the child in whatever way they see fit.  It is their child; let them raise it, even if you don't agree.
3.  Notice the MK!  We're people too!  Maybe I'm not an adult with all the answers and stuff, but you can talk to me.  And when I answer question about what I like to do, don't just shrug it off and leave it at that.  Ask me more about it.  People love to talk about themselves, and MKs are no different.  If you treat me like I'm invisible, my brain will selectively forget you ever existed, and I will not remember you next time I come around unless something exciting starts happening.

If you have kids (especially those around the age of one or more of the MKs):
1.  Introduce your kids to the missionary kids as soon as possible, and let things take their course.  Don't force a friendship!  I cannot emphasize this enough.  Sometimes, certain people just aren't cut out to be best friends right away.  If I don't "take" to your kids, just remember that not everyone is friends with everyone.  It may take a while to find some common ground, and if you've told your kids they can't mention any movies/books/bands/video games around me because I'm the missionary kid (with sparkles and emphasis abounding), we're going to take a while to find some common ground.  Hey, maybe we'll hit it off in thirty seconds--awesome!  But then there's the times where we finally hit it off an hour before leaving for church the next morning.  Our parents are trying to get us into ties and dresses and church shoes, and we've finally found a friend, and all we want to do is run around playing Hide and Seek.  Oh, you're going to be wondering, "Why this is happening; why couldn't they be getting on like this on Saturday at two o'clock?"  Well, ma'am, we were still trying to figure each other out on Saturday at two o'clock.

2.  Let the kids go off on their own and do their thing together.  If you need me,  I'll be out in the woods in a tree house with Nate or upstairs playing kitchen with Lily or in the basement playing video games with Trevor or getting my hair done in the Emma's bedroom.  Don't keep the MKs captive in the living room simply because they're "important guests."  They are still kids/teenagers, and they want to go do stuff.  So, just like when your kids have their friends over, go let them do stuff with your kids.  Entering your child's bedroom often gives me enough information to form a friendship.  American Girl doll?  Oh yeah, we are now officially friends for life even if I never see you again.  Hot Wheels and a track?  Oh, you have just probably engaged some MK boys and your son for a long time.  You said you had a tree house?  Well, blast this stupid skirt I have to wear to not "offend" anyone, I'm climbing in it.
3.  If your child seems to be getting along particularly well with a certain MK, sit them together at meals/room them together (if same gender), etc.  Encourage your kids to spend time with the MKs.  They are having their world opened.  Even if I don't say a word about Japan, your son or daughter is learning that MKs are more than distant holy people who've lived in another country (Oh, I should just make a whole post about MK/missionary stereotypes!).  Don't make your kid go do a chore and leave the MK just sitting.  I mean, obviously if the trash needs to be taken out, that's a two minute task, I can wait.  But, if they've got to go do the dishes, in the words of Pavel Chekov, "I can do zat!"  I would rather do dishes than sit around in the living room because I'm a special guest.

4.  If the MK never ends up clicking with your kids, don't feel like you were the worst host ever.  I say this because I can be very antisocial at times.  Maybe I'm not feeling well.  Maybe I just want to read and not talk to people.  Maybe your kid (and you're going to hate hearing this) is boring.  All they talk about is piano lessons and home school and their talents.  Or all they want to do is for me to talk about Japan.  I don't always feel like talking about Japan.  Here, let me broaden your world by talking about Baby-Sitters Club instead.  I'm sorry your child and I were incompatible in the twenty-four hours we knew each other.  It just doesn't work with everyone.

If you don't have kids at home (or your kids aren't close in age to the MKs):
1.  Leave us to our own devices.  I will sit and "fellowship" for a while, but I can only do this for so long.  So, if you see the MK over in a corner reading a book or playing on their handheld gaming device or texting, just let it go.  You're not their parent, and you're having an adult conversation, and the MK just wants to go and be a teen/kid for a while.  If you offer me an activity and I decline, just roll with it.  Believe it or not, the reason I'm reading my book here is because I read all five of your three-year-old grandson's books last night while I was staying in "his room."  Yep, even that one with the one word on each page with a picture.  Yeah, so thanks for that.  I'm just going to go read now.  Or play games.  If you say anything interesting, I'll start socializing again.

2.  Offer us actual fun stuff to do.  Old people with no kids left at home and young couples with infants/toddlers are possibly the worst offenders.  Old people like to give MKs games with missing pieces to play and offer MKs toys that they're way too old for.  Yes, it's the thought that counts, but try playing Battleship with the Destroyer missing, and get back to me on that cliche.  Young couples expect preteen and teenage missionary kids to spend time with their toddler/infant playing little kid stuff like they're still that age.  I mean, yes, I love little kids (Elementary Education major), but the fact you seem to assume that a ten-year-old likes playing the same toys as a two-year-old and on the same level, is kind of a wrong assumption.
3.  Old couples,  kids nowadays aren't like kids yesterday.  Please get used to it.  I mean, yes, at the core things are still the same, but I can indeed still listen to your conversation while occasionally shooting off a text to someone not there.  The world is changing.  Please don't think I'm being terribly rude or anything.  The laws of social interaction are changing.  Believe it or not, that text could be flying to Europe.  Yeah, you're shocked, I know.  But please stop saying it every twenty minutes how amazed you are that I just texted someone in another country!  We all know your minds are blown.  You don't need to remind us.

So there you have it, a good idea of what you should need to know before ever letting missionary kids in your house.  I can't promise everything will be sunshine and roses from here on out whenever they come over (It won't be.), but maybe you can rest assured that you have done everything you can do to make sure you are awesome, cool, and remembered.  Because few things are more awkward for the both of us than when you come to me in four years and say, "Hey, remember when you came to my house, and you were this high, and you slept in my grandson's bedroom?" and I don't remember.  (Also, can you start saying "this tall," instead of "this high"?  "This high" kind of could be taken two ways.)


FINAL BONUS THAT APPLIES TO ALL VISITING MISSIONARIES WHETHER THEY HAVE KIDS OR NOT!

Offer us your WiFi if you have it.  Or let us borrow your computer.  We have emails to send and receive; foreign news to catch up on; Facebook to check!  We want to stay in touch with the world, and your house is a far more convenient place to do it than in the parking lot of Starbucks.